I Was Too Drunk to Watch the Game

So... the Habs won last night.  Benching Ponikarovsky totally made all the difference, didn't it?

 

:)

 

Honestly, I'm pretty ok with it.  Gill was out, Sid scored a goal.  Spacek was in and... well whatever.  You know, its not easy to take a team that's so "deeply steeped in tradition" seriously when their fans boo some of the best players currently the league.

 

Anyway...

 

Fathead's is a great place to socialize and drink, especially on a Monday Wing Night, but I will not be going back for a game.  EVER.  There's never any seating for a large part, while there are TV's available but they're small and in limited numbers.  When you've been drinking, its impossible to follow the puck on such a small screen.

 

Yes, I'm spoiled.

 

So, all things considered, as soon as Cammelleri scored that first goal, I buried my face in my shot of jager with @OMGitsScottP and @Brian_Metzer and enjoyed my Magic Hat No. 9's in salute to Pascal Dupuis and wasn't heard from again for the rest of the night.

 

Ok that last bit was a total lie but I quit paying attention to hockey.

 

I have to work for Game 7 so I won't be be able to watch the boys bring the pain tomorrow night.  I'm not worried, though.  I work near 3 bridges so I'll just have to pick a number: 6, 7 or 9, if the Pens opt to make it difficult on us fans.

 

On a much more personal note:

 

Dear Pittsburgh Penguins,

 

I work in a hotel.  In said hotel, there is a guest.  This guest checked in with me on Sunday night and told me that he, as a Habs fan, was hoping you'd lose the game on Monday because he had tickets for the game on Wednesday night.  I told him, "Sir, there is NO WAY its going to happen."

 

Well we all know differently now, don't we?

 

So now, he came rolling in just a few minutes ago with a big smile on his face.  "Jennifer, I get to go to the big game tomorrow!"

 

So please, for the Love of Badger Bob, please!  Give me a reason to celebrate when this guy comes strolling back in after the game tomorrow night.

Sidney Crosby: AMG SCORE GOALS WILL YOU?

I'm gonna go ahead and assume that these questions surrounding Sidney Crosby's "drought" were brought up by Capitals fans because you know... if the star isn't scoring goals, the team is totally golfing, right?

Right, Mike Green?

So when asked, as a Pens fan, if am I concerned about Sidney Crosby not scoring a goal the answer is a resounding "No and you're an idiot for thinking I would be." Why? Well basically because of the HMS Hal Gill.

Gill became a household name in Pittsburgh all over again while he held Alexander Ovechkin nearly scoreless in the Canadiens' series over the Capitals last month. Gill's a huge brick wall of awesome. Naturally he's going to have similar magic against Sidney Crosby. Duh.

You Yinzer fans out there that didn't take Hal Gill into account when you started screaming about a sweep in the 2nd round are a bunch of dumbasses and you shouldn't be at all surprised that Sid hasn't scored a goal when Gill's been on the ice for something like 72 of Sid's 98 shifts during this series.

More reasons I'm not worried? Kris Letang and Sergei Gonchar.

While the HMS Hal Gill was busying himself with the best player in the league, the Penguins defensemen, namely Kris Letang and Sergei Gonchar, were busying themselves beating Halak from the blue line.

"I'm not sure its possible but he might be even more handsome with a beard," my boyfriend on Kris Letang.

I'd also like to point out that on Letang's goal last night, Sarge had the 2nd assist. On Sarge's goal, Orpik had the 1st assist. If the Mellon was Twitter, #PensDmen would have been trending.

So all in all, what I'm trying to say is that if the media wants to make a big deal out of Sid not scoring, let them. It'll make it even more huge when he gets a "Sidney Crosby Hat Trick" (a goal, an assist and a save) in the Bell Centre tomorrow night.

Or it'll make it even more amazing when the Habs fall to the Pens, at home, without Canada's Favorite Son scoring a single goal against them.

Aux fans du Canadiens:

Please, please. Please. Keep booing the guy that brought the first Mens Hockey Gold Medal on home soil to you. Please. Get chants like "Crosby Sucks" going in the Bell Centre. Boo him whenever he touches the puck. He loves it...

Et les fans des Penguins de vous en seront reconnaissants. Bitches.

Go Pens!

Mercury Retrograde, An Explanation

Mercury: The Planet, its not usually this evil.

I'm superstitious.

If you know me, you also know that I believe in astrology. So seeing me start a new job during a Mercury Retrograde, though precedented, is probably surprising.

The last job I started during a Mercury Retrograde was at New York-New York Hotel and Casino in Las Vegas. It was a great job, I enjoyed the work I did but the supervisory position I was supposed to be groomed for ended up getting eliminated due to the economic downturn, my department was merged with Yield Revenue and my job responsibilities got completely redefined. Not that I disagreed or could help anything that happened at NYNY, it just wasn't at all what I expected.

With that in mind, when my new position here in Pittsburgh was offered to me recently, it made me pause. I have past experience going against my belief of starting anything during a Mercury Retrograde. I was next to desperate in my current job and really wanted a new, fresh start. Also the new property seemed to be almost too good to be true...

And you know what they say... it probably is.

My first few days have been great but I can't help but wonder how long will it last. During a Mercury Retrograde, everything is definitely not as it seems.

For anyone that's ever heard me talk about Mercury's Retrograde before and thought that I was insane, I found a perfect explanation of the phenomenon in Part 3, Chapter 12, page 187 of The Complete Idiot's Guide to Astrology, 4th Edition. Below is Madeline Gerwick-Brodeur and Lisa Lenard's explanation of Mercury's Retrograde and why it would drive people like me and those I work with totally bonkers.

Mercury Retrograde: Crossed Wires
The purpose of Mercury retrograde is to encourage us to back up and catch up, to redo things that didn't get done the first time-or were done incorrectly-instead of constantly pushing forward. But it also can mean that expression becomes difficult, that we have trouble communicating through words or, worse, through other methods of communication, like e-mail or telephones.

During Mercury retrograde, Mercury is at its closest to Earth. This is its most intense position; because this energy is 'in our face,' we're forced to deal with things we've glossed over, forgotten, or done wrong. Retrograde Mercury is not 'bad' or 'good'; its a change in Mercury's energy. Being aware of it can help you avoid costly mistakes or unnecessary misunderstandings.

Transiting Mercury Retrograde
Because it's the ruler of transportation, when Mercury is retrograde, there are more car breakdowns, traffic mess-ups, and airline delays, and travel often has some unexpected and unpleasant surprises. Rental cars might not be ready or available, or hotel reservations might not have been made or kept. Your baggage might not even show up.

Transiting Mercury retrograde occurs three times every year for about 3 weeks each time, affecting everyone. This can signal everything from software and computer problems to packages not arriving. In projects requiring communication, signals can seem 'crossed,' or misunderstandings can occur, and there can be missed appointments and schedule delays as well.

But look on the bright side! Transiting Mercury retrograde gives us 3 weeks, three times a year, to go back to projects and situations so we can finish or redo them. Retrogrades always indicate the need to complete or return to something to improve upon the original work. These times are great opportunities to change or correct things you missed. And because you know transiting Mercury retrograde affects communication and transportation, take the extra effort to confirm appointments, project details, and travel plans.

It's a sticky business. If you're hyper sensitive to your surroundings like I am, you've probably felt it over the past few weeks. Its a sort of, "Something's Off" feeling that you can't quite put your finger on.

You're not going crazy, its Mercury's Retrograde.

If you've lost emails, had your texts go crazy or got frustrated because FourSquare's been down, its not a coincidence, its Mercury Retrograde. If someone from your past has reached out to you lately, its Mercury Retrograde. If your bank over drafted you for no reason, its Mercury Retrograde. If you've been arguing with a partner or significant other a lot lately, it's Mercury Retrograde.

Click here for an article on how each Sign responds to retrograde Mercury.

And here to read an article about Love Dos and Don'ts during Mercury's retrograde period.

Clean Up on Aisle Deux.

I had to work through the game tonight so my "pseudo-half-assed-recap" is going to be "fully-non-existent." With that in mind, I'd like to share my favorite part of Pens/Habs 2010 Stanley Cup Playoffs Game 1:

ASPEN DENTAL'S: The Play that Made Me Smile

From what I've heard, it sounds like Jaro isn't exactly the superhuman, god-like goaltender that Les Habitants were touting him to be since the Caps started golfing on 4/28. I hope Halak enjoyed being a God for 48hrs. If he's lucky, he'll be able to ride the coattails of Versus crack (addict) commentating staff that claimed he was "tired from the series with Washington."

Meanwhile, Craig Adams was quoted as saying, "I've scored twice in something like 105 games... the 2nd one was against Halak. We're good, thanks."

On another Penguins related note, my new jersey's record is now 2-0 and made its first appearance on East Carson tonight. It rightfully got the attention I feel it deserved. Drunk guys yelling "Hey Bob Errey! Hey that girl's wearing an Errey jersey. Hey Errey!" at me is a good homage to the Bibster.

Ditto the guys who stopped me on the way back to the car demanding to know who's name was on the back of my number 12 throwback. I turned around to proudly display the ERREY on the back, thinking to myself, "Who the fuck else would it be?"

It didn't dawn on me until 5 minutes later when I saw some dumb Pitt student wearing a Ryan Malone shersey why these two jagoffs would be so inquisitive... they were trying to monitor exactly how big, if any, a jersey foul I was committing.

So, with that in mind, I did what any other totally sober Pens fan would do tonight on East Carson. I yelled out my car window.

"Hey dude! Ryan Malone didn't make the playoffs!"

I live for the "WTF?" looks I get from random people on the South Side.

A Hockey Side Note: The Phoenix Coyotes Fans

Bandwagoner fans don't piss me off at all.

I really don't know why they would irritate anyone. If someone isn't educated in a sport, its easier to just ignore them instead of getting mad. If someone decides to start randomly supporting a team, thats up to them. They're allowed.

Technically, we were all bandwagoners at one point.

The fans I really hate are the idiots. The overly obnoxious fans like the Phoenix Coyote fans tonight, for instance.

Lets set the scene:

Your team is playing the Detroit Red Wings in the Quarterfinals. Datsyuk has scored twice, less than 2 minutes apart, setting himself up for a sweet little hattie while making the NHL's goalie poster child, Ilya Bryzgalov, look like a bitch. You're crying into your nachos at 8:23 into the 2nd when Vernon Fiddler mans up for your team and puts one past Jimmy Howard, unassisted.

Is this REALLY the best time to start a "Hoooooooow-aaaaaaaaard" chant?

Your reward for such disrespect? Two more goals from Lidstrom and Stuart bringing the score to 4-1.

Nice work.

Look: I'm not a Red Wings fan in fact, I hate that team. I'm not even a Jimmy Howard fan. I wish he'd choke so we can see some Chris Osgood action up in this bitch and really start letting some good jokes fly.

I am, however, a Sidney Crosby fan. And being a Sidney Crosby fan I can tell you mocking the opposing team is rarely a good idea. When the Pens descend upon the Wachovia or the Verizon Center and the fans start a "Crosby Sucks" chant, I start counting the minutes until Sid gets a point.

Its basically infallible.

Unfortunately, Phoenix, your team does not have a Sidney Crosby. Your team has a Wojtek Wolski. Your bragging rights are extremely limited. Since you seem to be somewhat behind the times on who is acceptable to make fun of, allow me to illustrate:

Hint: its the guy in grey who isn't Sidney Crosby.

Some others:

1. Chris Osgood
2. Tim Thomas
3. The Tampa Bay triumvirate of Stamkos, St Louis and Lecavelier
4. Sean Avery
5. The Washington Capitals
6. The Philadelphia Flyers

Since Jimmy Howard doesn't fall under any of the above mentioned categories, I'm sorry to be the one to tell you that your sense of humor sucks and its only fitting that Ilya's been scored on two more times just since I started writing this entry bringing the score to 6-1.

What's that hacking sound I hear? Could it be the Phoenix Coyotes choking on the dick that Lidstrom and the Red Wings are shoving down their throats.

Cliffs Notes: Hey Yotes Fans, don't get overly confident in a team that started off its season by giving away tickets to future games to anyone that showed up on certain nights. Don't act all big and bad when your team has yet to really prove itself. Don't get excited when your GM had to resign as head coach to start making Verizon commercials. Don't forget that you're in a place where ice is manufactured for frozen margaritas. While you're at it, do the NHL a favor and don't forget about your team tomorrow. Keep in mind that the rest of the hockey fans in the US and Canada don't think you should even have a team.

Joke's on you, fools.

OMG its My Adventures at Starbucks aka you Caption It.

If you've ever spent any amount of time with me, you know I love to people watch.

I think it may be part of being a failed actor... or it could just be me being really nebby. I love sitting in the front window of say... Starbucks on 6th and Penn with my sunglasses on, staring at people as they walk by. I like captioning their lives in my head, creating conversations between them. I enjoy letting my mind wander to where they're going, who they're going to see and why they're in such a big hurry.

Yeah, peopleofwalmart.com is my kind of website. But that's pretty much just because I'm a bastard.

Anyway, I had actually ventured out of downtown and onto McKnight(mare) Road two days ago (hard to believe and yet so true). I found myself at Starbucks, ordering a grande dark cherry mocha while the boyfriend got his hair cut at Anthony's. While I waited, I decided to busy myself with the task of loading my Starbucks Gold Card and figuring out my starbucks.com info so I could access my complimentary WiFi.

My life is so interesting.

Enjoying my DCM (that's a DARK CHERRY MOCHA for you non Starbucks people), I finally looked up and started noticing the Yinzers around me. There was a group of giggly 16 year old girls surrounding the coffee table to my right that encouraged me to mentally draw up the pros and cons of having to be a legal age to consume caffeine. There was a yuppie 48ish man with a Richard Gear complex to my left that got annoyed with me talking loudly about Foursquare.com and decided to have, to my amazement, a giant hissy fit. He actually ended his phone call, stormed outside and glared at me through the window.

I am rarely so pleased with myself.

Grinning like a jackass, I noticed another gentleman enjoying the misty Pittsburgh air between light afternoon rains:

Its almost too easy.

"Ohmigawd, I'm so glad I got out of the garage early today to have enough time to stop by and get a Soy Cinnamon Dulce Latte Extra Hawt! All that oil on the floor was giving me a real headache! Yuck! Speaking of Hawt... oh hello Mr Man over there running without a shirt on! Yoohoo!"

Got a caption? Leave a comment.

Conspiracy Theories Come to Life.

DO NOT, UNDER PENALTY OF NEAR DEATH, EVER RENT A CAR FROM ENTERPRISE ON 6TH STREET IN DOWNTOWN PITTSBURGH.

You might ask why.  I'll get into that in just a moment.  Before I do, I want to apologize for the conspiracy theory, chain letter sounding blog this entry is about to turn into.  Unfortunately it's all true...

For those of you who follow me on Twitter, you may remember some depressed tweets about a girlfriend of mine from work being in a horrible car accident in West Virginia a few days ago.  A tire on their rental car blew out causing she and her friends to end up in a ditch, the car having rolled.  The air bags failed to deploy and paramedics had to cut the roof off the car in order to rescue my friend who was asleep in the back.  The result was 2 collapsed lungs, a shattered right arm and my friend being stuck in a hospital with no friends or family to take care of her via a 70 mile life flight to a hospital in Charleston, West Virginia.

Two other girls I work with took a drive to Charleston yesterday to let her know the hotel was thinking about her.  My girlfriend filled them in on some surprising things about their rental car.

First, as soon as the girls got into the car, they noticed the Check Tire Pressure light was on.  They went back in to question the clerk about it and was advised that the tires had recently been checked but the light was not reset by their mechanics.  The clerk assured them that everything with the tires was fine.

Keep in mind that the cause of the accident was a blown out tire.

Second, and the details on this one are sketchy at best, but appearently their rental had it's airbags removed by the rental company.  Your guess is as good as mine on the reason why... but yeah. 

The bottom line is they were given an unsafe rental car with its safety features removed so IF there WAS an accident... well the result of IF there WAS an accident was detailed above when I described what happened to my friend.

To tie this entry up, the rental car came from Enterprise Rent A Car on 6th Street in downtown Pittsburgh. 

Basically, I know they've lost my hotel's business and recommendations.  I know they've lost my personal business and recommendations and that of my manager and other employees.   Three guests just tonight came to us asking for rentals.

We sent them to Avis.