Woe is Me, No Seriously... WARNING: Title Says it All

The past few weeks have not been the easiest for me.

That's really all I have to say about that.  

Actually, who am I kidding... would I be typing these words if that was really all I had to say about that?

I've felt pretty depleted.  I've felt like a crappy friend, girlfriend, daughter and employee.  And what's worse is that I know I'm putting this all on myself.  

I put pressure on myself to live up to unattainable standards.  While I know I'm "only human" its not a fact I like to admit or even really acknowledge.  I'm confident that if anyone (that mattered) had a problem with me, they'd come out and say it but I manage to talk myself into insecurity and over-sensitivity.

When someone tells me they don't want t talk about it, I've started taking it personally.  When a guest at work encounters a problem, I've started taking it personally.  When I ask my boyfriend if he's upset or angry with me and he says no, I think he's avoiding it.  

Who is this person that's taken over my psyche?  

I haven't been sleeping well, I've been overly stressed.  I feel like crying all the time.  I'm sad.  I'm anxious.  I'm upset.  I crave cigarettes.  I want more attention now than ever before but I fret that any I receive is based on Pity.  I need reassurance.  

I don't want to need it.

This is my life... How did I get here?  I was fine just a few weeks ago.  Can I please have my sanity back?

For now, I'm going to go smoke and then see if I can convince my boyfriend to cuddle with me even if I stink like cigarettes.