Dear Mr George Lucas,
Thank you for "completing" your 6 part movie series Star Wars with the first 3 episodes some 5 years ago. As I watch them in marathon format on Spike TV tonight, I would like to just point out a couple of things I've noticed.
1) Darth Maul was a badass. He should have been killed off in a glorious style by his own mentor to be replaced as a protege by Darth Vader. Additionally, this should have happened in Attack of the Clones.
2) Boba Fett shouldn't have died in the sarlacc pit. Lando Calrissian should have. I don't care what my friend, Jake, says. Lando was a little bitch and didn't even come close to redeeming himself by the end of Return of the Jedi.
3) Hayden Christensen was a great choice as an actor for Anakin Skywalker. Anyone else that says otherwise is an idiot. No one could have pulled of "whiny, little bitch" like Hayden. Anakin was supposed to be portrayed exactly as Christensen demonstrated. If you disagree, get fucked. You didn't pay attention to the story.
4) Yoda is the undisputed champion of the series (forget Luke Skywalker) but I would have paid good money to see a fight between him and Darth Maul. Like we're talking Superbowl/Bruce Springsteen/pay-per-view level pricing. I would have taken a vacation from work, traveled 3000 miles and camped out for a week for those tickets.
5) After careful deliberation with several friends regarding Randall's argument about destroying the unfinished Death Star in Return of the Jedi, I'd have to side with the random customer. Fuck them assholes. There's better way to make money then working for a bunch of evil bastards.
6) I still don't get Amidala's make up or costumes. They looked great!! But I don't get the necessity of it all.
7) What exactly was the age difference between Amidala and Anakin because fuck that's gotta be at least what? 8 to 10 years? At LEAST?! Coooougar!
I reserve the right to add more at any time.
Sincerely,
OMGitsJen
