Heartbreak Hotel

He looks so sad here. Oh MAF, I miss you! I hope you come back to us soon. <3

Story had it that he wasn't supposed to start tonight. Bylsma caught him moping around the hotel like someone shot his dog so he says listen, "I'm starting you tonight."

So, MAF gives up an early one, then gets run over and the puck trickles into the net while it gets knocked off it's moorings.

He gets pulled. After 2 goals.

By the same coach that left Johnson in to suffer a horrendous 5-2 stomping in Dallas 2 games ago.

I'm not pretending to know what I'm talking about here but what I AM saying is that this logic doesn't make sense to me.

But I'm also not a coach. So I'll just blog about it instead.

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A Hockey Fan's Plea: SHUT UP ABOUT COOKE!

Alexander Ovechkin got a 2 game suspension for this hit:

Dear Washington Capitals Fans,

LMFAO!!! Please cry tears of injustice over this. Please! I understand that Washington Capitals Fan tears cure cancer. Also, please continue to blame Matt Cooke's hit on Marc Savard for Ovechkin's penalty.

Just for the sake of argument, lets compare the two hits shall we?

WOW!

They look NOTHING alike!

One was a headshot, the other was a boarding call. One was an accident, the other was pretty intentional. One was from Matt Cooke... the other was from what the NHL has since deemed to be a "repeat offender."

No Superstar Treatment again for you.

Any hockey fan who is following the media's lead that the Ovechkin suspension is a direct result of the Cooke hit is a sheep. Worse yet, their shepherds are Doc and Edzo since it was those two jokers that originally brought up the idea that "Beeg Ruski Skoror" was on the ice when Cooke hit Savard. How else could Ovechkin have been penalized for it?

If that last part didn't make sense to you, good. It wasn't supposed to. That means you can use logic.

Another thought to ponder: why is no one talking about Mike Richards with as much passion as they're talking about Matt Cooke? David Booth got splattered across the ice and Richards didn't even get a slap on the wrist but Cooke is Satan (sans #81). I guess this just proves that Matt Cooke is better than Mike Richards at say... everything?

Except Leadership, right? Isn't it ironic how Ovechkin and Richards are captains? Don't you think?

A little too ironic... and yeah I really do think they're shitty teams.

Go ahead and blah blah blah me about how the Caps have 101 points to the Pens 87 (hi Sid) since its regular season point totals that win Stanley Cup Championships... oh wait.

Talk to me about how Sid and Geno are now marked men in Boston, like its not something they aren't already dealing with... oh wait:

Meanwhile I'll talk to you about how Macho Man Steve Downie went after Pretty Boy Ovechkin earlier this season but Pretty Boy couldn't fight for himself so Bradley had to step in for him:

1:30

Hey Steve Downie, I'm pretty sure I could beat up Ovechkin. I'm not sure why you'd waste your time stepping up to Beeg Mahn but whatever your reason, I'm sure it was Matt Cooke's fault too.

Here's an exchange I had with Kyle Roussel earlier:

kyleroussel @TSNBobMcKenzie Why can't recklessness and stupidity be the big factor instead of the result of recklessness and stupidity?

omgitsjen @kyleroussel cuz you can't prove intent unless you get those precogs from Minority Report to tell you before it happens.

kyleroussel

@omgitsjen I didn't say anything about intent; that's tough to prove. Stupid and reckless isn't

omgitsjen @kyleroussel well that's just opinion. Ask any of his fans how AWESOME he is and they'll tell you. Whats dumb to us is great to them.

kyleroussel

@omgitsjen well he is awesome...but the intelligence on the ice is sorely lacking at times. Seemingly more and more often.

omgitsjen @kyleroussel Wouldn't intelligence sort of factor into his awesome play? Great players don't leave a wake of injured players behind them.

kyleroussel

@omgitsjen He's Jeckyll and Hyde. When the puck is on his stick, he represents great hockey. When it's not on his stick...yikes.

omgitsjen @kyleroussel Touche. Unfortunately, I believe his legacy may reflect his Hyde personae but it'll depend on if he opts to mature as a person

kyleroussel

@omgitsjen In the end, IMO, we will be unable to separate both sides of him. It's why we never refer to Jeckyll without talking about Hyde.

#blamemattcooke

Matt Cooke doesn't have a wake of injured players following him around the league or a Jeckyll and Hyde duality. Matt Cooke's intelligence doesn't come into debate regarding the physical game he brings to the table every time he steps on the ice. Matt Cooke got suspended in November. He didn't get suspended again in March.

I could embed a montage of some of Ovechkin's greatest goals over this past year. I could play devil's advocate with myself and say that you know what, Ovechkin really is a great player. But great players like Lemieux and even Gretzky had too much class to take a run at someone... so unfortunately, all the "great" Ovechkin does will forever be overshadowed by how filthy a player he is.

Skip to 1:00 and 1:21 and lament with me the potential that will never be realized.

A Hockey Night in Canada

Pens win 5-2 vs Leafs.

Speaking in basic terms here, if this game was a preview of anything that's going to happen at the ACC on 1/9/10, I can't EFFING WAIT.

Yeah, its THAT kind of anticipation.

Canada loves hockey. I love hockey. I also love Toronto. Toronto loves the Maple Leafs.

The Maple Leafs suck.

Tonight, the Leafs did display some of the winning strategies of the Philadelphia Flyers but Jay Rosehill failed to back it up with some of the talent that is only afforded to players like Dan Carcillo and Scottie Hartnell. Even the fight Rosehill got into with Mike Rupp was pretty lack luster.

Honestly, the Canadian kid wearing the Crosby home jersey that was smacking the glass as Rupp went to the box may have hit something harder than Rosehill hit Rupp.

Speaking of the Flyers, I was too busy watching the Stanley Cup Champions embarrass Toronto but from what I understand, Chieftain Mike Richards offered up some extraordinary leadership skills by captaining the boys in orange to blowing a 2-0 lead over the Anaheim Ducks and then losing in a shootout 3-2.

Post game, the referee ensured that Ducks player, Ryan Whitney, had all his fingers. Scottie Hartnell was quoted as saying he only has a taste for French-Canadian defensemen.

"Side of Poutine please"

At least Scottie's got Don Cherry on his side. See?

Too bad Don Cherry is a big wiener.

Side note: I may be shunned for admitting this but I'm in the market for a Ron Hextall vintage t shirt. Its just because that son of a bitch was the meanest thing to hit the ice and I love watching him beat Potvin's ass on YouTube:



Watching Hextall sprint down the ice never gets old.

There's also this awesome video of the Flyers vs the Habs.

Personally, I still think its bullshit that Roy got a 5min pengalty for leaving the crease. Like there wasn't 400 other things to call out there, they call the goalie who's minding his own business on the other side of the ice but WHOOPS, I left the crease.

Stupid.

PS, I'm also looking for a Gary Roberts Calgary Flames vintage t so if anyone out there in internet land is reading this and knows where I could find one: need link, thx!

In conclusion: Toronto is 0-4. The Flyers defeat tonight brings the Penguins to #1 in the Atlantic AND East. Pens fans get a few days off until the next game against the Ottawa Senators on 10/12 at 7:30pm.

PPS, Quick thanks to FSN for giving us a post game, locker room glimpse of a shirtless Marc-Andre Fleury speaking French to the Canadian journalists. Yummy!

Update:
Someone posted said post game interview with Fleury. Many thanks to @GhostWalker40 <3

Game 5: What a Bunch of Crap!

I just got home from the bar.

I don't have much to say other than I am completely and totally appalled by the officiating in Game 5 of the Stanley Cup Finals. Letting them play is one thing but only calling penalties against one of the two teams makes the game lop-sided.

Do all these rejoicing Red Wings fans realize that they had a Power Play for 22 minutes of the game? That's OVER 1 full period.

Sure, Fleury let goals by. Only 2 of them were his fault. He can't make his offense want to play and he certainly can't defend on his own against 22 minutes of short hand. FYI Detroit, he pulled himself. It wasn't Detroit beating him that won them the game. It was the officials mismanaging calls and the Penguins lack of ability to do anything with the puck. The Red Wings didn't win Game 5. The officials controlled the game with 11 of the 13 penalties going on the Penguins.

Before you start celebrating, Red Wings fans, realize that the Powers-That-Be will flip the table on you in Game 6 since both the NHL and NBC want this series to go to a Game 7 because they want the viewers to take an interest. The NHL wants the Penguins to win because it looks like an underdog story and Penguins merchandise is currently the fastest growing merchandise brand in the nation. The NHL wants those new buyers to watch so they can make more money with the networks and the networks want the viewers so they can make more money from sponsors.

This is a money game at work.

As for Marc-Andre Fleury, I love him. The score doesn't accurately reflect how he played. The shots on goal don't accurately reflect how he played.

By the way, how the FUCK does Chris Osgood get a Star when he did nothing all game???? "Hey, stand there." Big deal. They got a shut out, that doesn't mean he did well.

I'm sure Mighty #66 is having a fit right now... as well he should!

Detroit and Carolina Advance in Stanley Cup Playoffs, Will Work for Playoff Tickets.

Jonas Hiller is currently suiciding somewhere in Detroit while the Boston Bruins realize that outplaying a team doesn't necessarily mean they'll win.

Boston wanted it more but couldn't beat Cam Ward's octo-goalie skills. Honorable mention Tim Thomas equally had a nice showing but I'm pretty sure (even without knowing or looking up the stats) that Boston had way more shots on goal than Carolina did thus making Cam Ward's performance all that more impressive... at least to me.

And remember, I know nothing about hockey.

Anyway, I called Carolina... but I also called the Ducks. 2/4 for only paying attention since the Pens got rid of Michel Therrien isn't too bad.

Semis start on Sunday, May 17th with Red Wings/Hawks. Opening night for Pens vs Canes: Monday, May 18th. Times will be released as soon as NBC gives everyone the authorization to breathe in public.

The only reason I feel bad that the Bruins lost tonight:



This kid is probably crushed. :(

I'd also like to take this opportunity to positively THANK the powers-that-be for airing the Western Conference game between Detroit and Anaheim instead of the game that actually mattered between Carolina and Boston. News Flash: Pittsburgh is an Eastern Conference club, we'd be interested in wtf was going on in the East. Jerks.

In other news, I got my schedule from work today. I get to see all playoff games due to working the early shift which is great. Unfortunately, this cuts into my hot-as-balls boyfriend time since he's a PM supervisor. What also sucks is that I don't have a day off until next Thursday and even then--yeah, split days off.

I need a new line of work. God!

Course, I've also been saying that for about 5 years now... right after I say, "Checking in?"

Pittsburgh: City of Champions

This is Bob.

Bob's telling us what he thinks of the Capitals.

Actually, I think he was giving me the finger but I don't remember why so I'm just using the Capitals as a scapegoat since all I've learned from watching them play is how to make excuses.

Since I'm pissed off at hockey due to the disappointments of the last 24hrs (ie the Pens going to a 7th game vs the Capitals and the Canucks getting eliminated by the Blackhawks...), I decided to take a day off from the sport and chill with my hot-as-balls boyfriend instead.

The day started off good enough. I got a new pair of shoes (or two) and had a solid lunch then retired to my hot-as-balls boyfriend's apartment for some surprise sex. He asked me if I wanted to go to the Pirates game and not being a girl that likes to pass up a chance to watch an emo guy play centerfield, I totally agreed.

Unfortunately for my anti-hockey state of mind, we started listening to Mark Madden on 105.9 ("Ze Eeeeexe") on the way to PNC Park and listened to him back Fleury for being an awesome goalie (cuz it's true) and basically rehash the pain of last night.

As a quick side note here: Why to Pittsburgh sports fans call Mark Madden when they don't know what the fuck they're talking about. I like Mark Madden because he's an asshole that doesn't hold anything back. He'll call you out for being an idiot if your opinion is based on either lack of knowledge or just plain stupidity. He gets some bad reviews from a couple of my friends but he's fun to listen to, he knows what he's talking about and I like the music he plays. So fuck you!

Anyway... moving right along, I haven't been to a Pirates game since high school when Three Rivers Stadium was the place to be and Jason Kendall was the hottest guy in the city. PNC Park lived up to the hype. It's a beautiful stadium and a remarkable place to spend a late afternoon and evening--nice place for a date, totally recommend it. I ended up spending $50 on a long sleeved Pirates T shirt (which is fucking baller by the way). Ordinarily, I would never spend that much on a T shirt but this one is particularly nice. I also get a feeling that its somewhat couture since I don't see anyone else spending this much on a Pirates long sleeved T.

My hot-as-balls boyfriend decided to go for a new jersey as well. To the left, you see him sporting some sweet banana yellow. What you don't see is "Clemente 21" on the back. What you also don't see is the huge pile of cheesy fries the geezer behind him has in his hand which is why he's looking so happy! (Edit: WOOOOOW! What you ALSO don't see unless you click on the picture to blow it up to its real size is my fucking tits reflected in my boyfriend's sunglasses... Oh well, there's your pic of my new long sleeved T!)

We got baseline seats from a promotion I gave to my hot-as-balls boyfriend for his birthday last Friday which he wasn't expecting. I told him a couple different times that we'd have sweet baseline seats but he either didn't believe me or just ignored it. When we finally sat down to look at this:

He kept saying, "Oh my God! Oh my God! These are great seats. Thank you!" which made me feel good but I was also quite amused by how excited he was to be at his first baseball game in 2 years (the seats filled up before the 2nd inning). Check out some Before and After pix here.

Before he saw where we were sitting:

THEN: After we sat down...

See how much happier he is. :)

Here's some other pictures I took at the game (cuz its interesting):

Pittsburgh's smokin Skyline.

This guy is probably the coolest guy at the park. He's a Security Guy/Usher named Phillip C. who works tirelessly and endlessly to escort people to their seats and yell at idiot drunks to tell them to quit throwing popcorn and tell the guy who nearly knocks over 5 year olds that their assholes for not giving the kid the foul ball they just caught. He also drinks lemonade out of a dixie cup while watching the game from right behind our seats. He's basically the biggest baller in the city. I. Love. Phillip. C!

Speaking of Lemonade, I learned a valuable piece of Pittsburgh Trivia tonight. Did you know that Mellon Arena's Cotton Candy Man, seen here:



Is the SAME dude that sells "Lemonade Here" at PNC Park?



If you listen closely, you can hear more than just my boyfriend mentioning "Cotton Candy" as he goes by too. I can't help but wonder a) why PNC Park doesn't have him selling Cotton Candy during Pirates games and b) if this guy knows that he's a Pittsburgh Icon.

This guy's so fucking huge to Pittsburgh sports fans that they text 28226 to send text messages to the boards at PNC Park, dedicating texts of 40 characters or less to him. "Lemonade Here!" and "Cooootton Caaandy!" were seen more than once between innings.

Finally, here's a picture of the guy that's got my dream job:


It dawned on me that in order to even try out to be Iceburgh at Penguin games, I'd have to learn to skate because I'm pretty sure Iceburgh skates. That's so fucking lame!

Surprisingly, the Pirates actually won tonight beating the Cardinals with a final score of 7 to 1. LaRoche didn't suck tonight to show off his HR skillz and ditto Brandon Moss.

At the bottom of the 6th, my boyfriend and I heard some guy scream, "We're FUCKED!" Which was pretty amazing in itself. We turned around and happened to see these two guys wearing their Rally Caps:

Tomorrow is another Great Day for Hockey. I get off work at 7:30pm... just in time to see the puck drop in Washington. There's no living with me for the next 48hrs!

GO PENS!