A Hockey Fan's Plea: SHUT UP ABOUT COOKE!

Alexander Ovechkin got a 2 game suspension for this hit:

Dear Washington Capitals Fans,

LMFAO!!! Please cry tears of injustice over this. Please! I understand that Washington Capitals Fan tears cure cancer. Also, please continue to blame Matt Cooke's hit on Marc Savard for Ovechkin's penalty.

Just for the sake of argument, lets compare the two hits shall we?

WOW!

They look NOTHING alike!

One was a headshot, the other was a boarding call. One was an accident, the other was pretty intentional. One was from Matt Cooke... the other was from what the NHL has since deemed to be a "repeat offender."

No Superstar Treatment again for you.

Any hockey fan who is following the media's lead that the Ovechkin suspension is a direct result of the Cooke hit is a sheep. Worse yet, their shepherds are Doc and Edzo since it was those two jokers that originally brought up the idea that "Beeg Ruski Skoror" was on the ice when Cooke hit Savard. How else could Ovechkin have been penalized for it?

If that last part didn't make sense to you, good. It wasn't supposed to. That means you can use logic.

Another thought to ponder: why is no one talking about Mike Richards with as much passion as they're talking about Matt Cooke? David Booth got splattered across the ice and Richards didn't even get a slap on the wrist but Cooke is Satan (sans #81). I guess this just proves that Matt Cooke is better than Mike Richards at say... everything?

Except Leadership, right? Isn't it ironic how Ovechkin and Richards are captains? Don't you think?

A little too ironic... and yeah I really do think they're shitty teams.

Go ahead and blah blah blah me about how the Caps have 101 points to the Pens 87 (hi Sid) since its regular season point totals that win Stanley Cup Championships... oh wait.

Talk to me about how Sid and Geno are now marked men in Boston, like its not something they aren't already dealing with... oh wait:

Meanwhile I'll talk to you about how Macho Man Steve Downie went after Pretty Boy Ovechkin earlier this season but Pretty Boy couldn't fight for himself so Bradley had to step in for him:

1:30

Hey Steve Downie, I'm pretty sure I could beat up Ovechkin. I'm not sure why you'd waste your time stepping up to Beeg Mahn but whatever your reason, I'm sure it was Matt Cooke's fault too.

Here's an exchange I had with Kyle Roussel earlier:

kyleroussel @TSNBobMcKenzie Why can't recklessness and stupidity be the big factor instead of the result of recklessness and stupidity?

omgitsjen @kyleroussel cuz you can't prove intent unless you get those precogs from Minority Report to tell you before it happens.

kyleroussel

@omgitsjen I didn't say anything about intent; that's tough to prove. Stupid and reckless isn't

omgitsjen @kyleroussel well that's just opinion. Ask any of his fans how AWESOME he is and they'll tell you. Whats dumb to us is great to them.

kyleroussel

@omgitsjen well he is awesome...but the intelligence on the ice is sorely lacking at times. Seemingly more and more often.

omgitsjen @kyleroussel Wouldn't intelligence sort of factor into his awesome play? Great players don't leave a wake of injured players behind them.

kyleroussel

@omgitsjen He's Jeckyll and Hyde. When the puck is on his stick, he represents great hockey. When it's not on his stick...yikes.

omgitsjen @kyleroussel Touche. Unfortunately, I believe his legacy may reflect his Hyde personae but it'll depend on if he opts to mature as a person

kyleroussel

@omgitsjen In the end, IMO, we will be unable to separate both sides of him. It's why we never refer to Jeckyll without talking about Hyde.

#blamemattcooke

Matt Cooke doesn't have a wake of injured players following him around the league or a Jeckyll and Hyde duality. Matt Cooke's intelligence doesn't come into debate regarding the physical game he brings to the table every time he steps on the ice. Matt Cooke got suspended in November. He didn't get suspended again in March.

I could embed a montage of some of Ovechkin's greatest goals over this past year. I could play devil's advocate with myself and say that you know what, Ovechkin really is a great player. But great players like Lemieux and even Gretzky had too much class to take a run at someone... so unfortunately, all the "great" Ovechkin does will forever be overshadowed by how filthy a player he is.

Skip to 1:00 and 1:21 and lament with me the potential that will never be realized.

Updatez: Vicki's, Boyfriend, US Hockey!

OK so, 2 days after I went and posted about Victoria's Secret's lame craftsmanship, they sent me an email for a PINK 2 for $40 deal. Baring in mind that I had JUST posted about how I was NEVER, EVER going to shop there again, I allowed the (Hot-as-Balls) Boyfriend to pile me in the car and take me to Victoria's Secret at Ross Park Mall.

I felt dirty just for walking in.

I received the expected welcome upon crossing the threshold, its like the greeter knew I had just bashed her and her store on the oh-so-serious internet. The associate glanced up, we made eye contact, she looked me up and down then went back to folding panties (truthfully, it served as a wake up call for me as I totally didn't realize I was such a hot fucking mess that panty-folding took priority over helping me. Although, I will say this: her waist may have been tinier than mine but uh... my hair, clothes and accessories were way better then her's. BOOYAH BITCH!).

Anyway, after wandering around the front of the store for 30 seconds waiting for her to greet me, I decided to risk interrupting her focused-folding to ask her about the email I got. She was very gracious by rolling her eyes and pointing at a wall on the other side of the room.

Feeling demeaned and hating myself for going back on my word, I maneuvered around nighties and panties and bras and women. By doing so, I spotted another rack with a sign:

Oh! Well honestly, this is exactly what I was looking for. They were prepackaged in sets of nude and black or nude and white. I picked up my 36D treasure and got the hell out of there...

OR SO I THOUGHT!!

It just so happened to cross my mind that I had positively fallen in love with VSPINK's scent of Warm & Cozy. Its everything that's good in the world. When I first bought the body spray in December though, Vicki's was out of stock on the lotion so I decided to pick up the lotion while I was there... and they were having a 2 for $20 deal so what the hell, I may as well pick up the "Twinkled PINK Warm & Cozy Shimmering Fragrance Rollerball" because I'm an asshole that loves glitter even though I'll be 29 in 7 days.

All in all, I walked out with a new definition of the word "Devil."

dev·il

[dev-uhl] –noun
1.Theology.
a.(sometimes initial capital letter) the supreme spirit of evil; Satan.
b. a subordinate evil spirit at enmity with God, and having power to afflict humans both with bodily disease and with spiritual corruption.
2. an atrociously wicked, cruel, or ill-tempered person.
3. a person who is very clever, energetic, reckless, or mischievous.
4. a person, usually one in unfortunate or pitiable circumstances: The poor devil kept losing jobs through no fault of his own.
5. any of various portable furnaces or braziers used in construction and foundry work.
6. the devil, (used as an emphatic expletive or mild oath to express disgust, anger, astonishment, negation, etc.): What the devil do you mean by that?
7. Victoria's Secret.

So... yes. That definition is in Websters. This is all true.

Anyway, I had a long talk with El Boyfrienderino last week.

God, he's so awesome!

Even when we disagree about things, its still not all that bad. I finally told him where I was coming from with the whole moving in thing and the house thing and the commitment thing and blah blah blah and I'll tell you... it felt really great!

I cried and all that but at the end of the day it felt really good to cohesively get out in the open what I'd been thinking for a few months. And at the end of the night, we agreed: we love each other and don't want to end our relationship.

BAM! Thats a great starting point if you ask me. :)

So, I spent 3 days with him at his house and I cooked and cleaned (well I tried to clean, he's so tidy that I didn't need to clean). We went out and enjoyed our Stay-cation together and stayed at home and watched the Olympics and talked shit about Marty Brodeur together. Then he texted me when he said he would and he even called me to say good night last night which I wasn't expecting at all.

These are all just reasons that my boyfriend is better than your boyfriend. WOO!

Speaking of Hockey and the Olympics and Marty Brodeur: did you SEE that US/Canada last night?! If you didn't, oh dear Reader, whatthefuck is the matter with you?!

Here's a picture of Marty:

Reports from Vancouver claim that Marty Brodeur's been seen sneaking into the McDonald's located at the Olympic Village late at night and filling cooler upon cooler of water bottles with vanilla milk shakes.

When questioned, Mike Babcock was quoted as saying, "Bruce Boudreau recommended we head to KFC before each game but McDonald's is a sponsor. We have to remember which side our bread is buttered on. Besides, Marty likes those little apple pies."

When asked about Brodeur's energy level and if alternate goalies Roberto Luongo or Marc-Andre Fleury would make an appearance Babcock looked blankly at reporters for a moment then said, "Oh! Fleury! Well... Marty's been doing great and we have no plans on putting Fleury in goal because he's too young. You know Fleury IS 4 years younger than Luongo at 25 and even though he's the top of his game right now, Marty has all that experience that a 37 year old brings to the table. And I mean, Luongo DOES play for the Canucks so we'll probably be using him instead."

See, Mike Babcock? It does sound stupid. Get over your Stanley Cup grudge and play Fleury! Its easy for an armchair coach like me to say that Flower wouldn't have allowed 2 goals on 6 shots but I'm thinking that he probably wouldn't have... Also, Ryan Miller's a decent goalie but he's not as great as your team made him look last night. Sid can score on him easily. Maybe he should get more than 15 minutes of ice time. JUST SAYIN'! Woop woop!

In conclusion: Go Team USA hockey. They've proven that they can play better together than the Canadian and Russian teams and deserve their bye night. I'm proud of them... but I still think John Tortorella is a tool.

PS: I JUST found out that Ray Shero had a hand in putting together Team USA Men's Hockey. Had I known this 2 months ago, I would have put money on the US winning gold in this tournament. Sorry, Sid... I love you guy but Daddy Shero has spoken.

A Hockey Night in Canada

Pens win 5-2 vs Leafs.

Speaking in basic terms here, if this game was a preview of anything that's going to happen at the ACC on 1/9/10, I can't EFFING WAIT.

Yeah, its THAT kind of anticipation.

Canada loves hockey. I love hockey. I also love Toronto. Toronto loves the Maple Leafs.

The Maple Leafs suck.

Tonight, the Leafs did display some of the winning strategies of the Philadelphia Flyers but Jay Rosehill failed to back it up with some of the talent that is only afforded to players like Dan Carcillo and Scottie Hartnell. Even the fight Rosehill got into with Mike Rupp was pretty lack luster.

Honestly, the Canadian kid wearing the Crosby home jersey that was smacking the glass as Rupp went to the box may have hit something harder than Rosehill hit Rupp.

Speaking of the Flyers, I was too busy watching the Stanley Cup Champions embarrass Toronto but from what I understand, Chieftain Mike Richards offered up some extraordinary leadership skills by captaining the boys in orange to blowing a 2-0 lead over the Anaheim Ducks and then losing in a shootout 3-2.

Post game, the referee ensured that Ducks player, Ryan Whitney, had all his fingers. Scottie Hartnell was quoted as saying he only has a taste for French-Canadian defensemen.

"Side of Poutine please"

At least Scottie's got Don Cherry on his side. See?

Too bad Don Cherry is a big wiener.

Side note: I may be shunned for admitting this but I'm in the market for a Ron Hextall vintage t shirt. Its just because that son of a bitch was the meanest thing to hit the ice and I love watching him beat Potvin's ass on YouTube:



Watching Hextall sprint down the ice never gets old.

There's also this awesome video of the Flyers vs the Habs.

Personally, I still think its bullshit that Roy got a 5min pengalty for leaving the crease. Like there wasn't 400 other things to call out there, they call the goalie who's minding his own business on the other side of the ice but WHOOPS, I left the crease.

Stupid.

PS, I'm also looking for a Gary Roberts Calgary Flames vintage t so if anyone out there in internet land is reading this and knows where I could find one: need link, thx!

In conclusion: Toronto is 0-4. The Flyers defeat tonight brings the Penguins to #1 in the Atlantic AND East. Pens fans get a few days off until the next game against the Ottawa Senators on 10/12 at 7:30pm.

PPS, Quick thanks to FSN for giving us a post game, locker room glimpse of a shirtless Marc-Andre Fleury speaking French to the Canadian journalists. Yummy!

Update:
Someone posted said post game interview with Fleury. Many thanks to @GhostWalker40 <3

Heinz Catch-Up. Get it?

I'm sick.

Not sick in a figurative way but in a literal way. Remember back in late March and early April when I died? Yeah, its that kind of sick again. The Hot-as-Balls Boyfriend (yes he's still around cuz he's fucking awesome) texted me earlier saying that I have some goodies and spoiling to look forward to tomorrow. Ooh! I like both goodies and being spoiled. Sounds like this is right up my ally.

Lets see what all needs to be caught up on:


Work: The G-20 was a J-Joke. 4 months of preparation for 2 nights of absolutely nothing going on downtown except some Pitt students running around like idiots and then realizing, "oh LOL look I'm 18 and mom and dad aren't here to clean this up for me... uh... shit what do I do? Oh... I know!

"FUCK THE PO-LICE"


No asshole, fuck you. You came in here from small town Akron, OH to study psychology and when classes started at the end of August, you heard that there was about to be a meeting of the world's leaders close by. You instantly wanted a chance to tell your kids one day that you took part in a protest, you wanted to stand up for something but you're not sure what exactly so you just decided to go up to Shadyside and throw a rock at a Boston Market's front window. Why? Cuz FUCK Boston, you didn't get into Harvard! Right??


Then you decided to screw w/ Pamela's. That's how we know you're from out of town. No one from Pittsburgh would mess with Pamela's. Quit crying about your constitutional rights. When you showed up on the scene without an exit strategy, you forfeited your constitutional rights...


Let this be a lesson to you, Mr Smarter-Than-Thou-University-Student: you ALWAYS need an exit strategy. You're going to Pitt ffs; if the cops show up when you're underage drinking, you need an exit strategy. If her boyfriend shows up with you standing naked in her closet, you need an exit strategy. If the assembly turns out to be illegal because the smart ass that organized it forgot to get a permit, you need an exit strategy.


I'm glad you got shot with a rubber bullet, even if you're an innocent bystander. You shouldn't have been down there anyway.

Idiot.

Here's a picture of the guy that wins The Pittsburgh Summit:



That's an old Magnificent Mario jersey, you feeble-minded Non-Yinzers. This picture pretty much sums up why I love everything about this city.

That and reports that during gatherings, protests and demonstrations on Saturday, a bunch of Yinzers loaded up their paintball guns with black and yellow paintballs and went looking for some Wannabe Anarchists. Get fucked ResistG20. You're in Steel City.

Why G20 falls under the category of work is simple: I work downtown. My hotel housed delegations from France, Turkey and Germany. All the stereotypes are delightfully true. The secret service was ridiculously awesome.

I heard on WPXI this afternoon some facts and figures regarding how much money the city made vs spent vs how much the repair work would cost to get the city's windows back in working order. I don't remember actual numbers (because I was on 2hrs of sleep and cold medicine) but I can say that they were impressive and very large. All in all, this was a great event for Pittsburgh and I'm glad to have been a part of it on a very small level.

Boyfriend: As previously stated, he's fucking awesome. He just bought a house which he's letting me decorate. I've been getting a lot of the "Ooh! Are you moving in?" questions lately. Answer: I don't know, I don't think so... Ours is a relationship where things are sort of assumed. He keeps me around so I assume he still likes me. I'm not complaining so he assumes I'm happy. If there was a real problem, we'd each bring it up to the other.

Don't get me wrong, I am happy. He's pretty much the best thing that's ever happened to me. I'd just like to have the reassurance that I'm awesome. Even though I know I'm awesome, I want to know he thinks so too.

The point here was that if I'm moving in, it would just sort of happen over time. My clothes would just migrate over to his house. I can't imagine him ever coming up to me and saying, "Hey Jen, I was thinking... do you want to move in?"

His house is super cool mode too. It's got a koi pond! I need to start studying HGTV more.

We watch Adult Swim together and he gets really excited when Squidbillies comes on. I don't get that show... I'm much more of a Robot Chicken girl.

Sports: Summer's over which means that there's no more Pirate games to agonize over. Good! I got 2 tshirts from PNC Park for the 2 games I went to this year. That and a hot dog are about the most I'm willing to contribute to that franchise from now on... and now that I have the tshirts all future games I go to, I'll just be contributing the hot dog. Christ, the Buccos are SO bad. I hate them.

Its football season now, though you'd never know it by the Steelers' stellar record of 1 and 2... I just hope the boys are able to get their shit together against the Chargers this weekend. Losing to the Bears and the Bengals is an embarrassment. A quote from Major League II comes to mind:

"Ok guys, we've won 2 games in a row. If we win tonight, that's called a winning streak. It HAS happened before."

Replace "win" with "lose" and I think you see what I'm getting at here.

Friday is the Pens opening night and thank GOD for it. Its been a long 3 months without hockey. We're opening against the Rangers on Friday down at the Igloo. I'm stuck downtown for a few hours so I'm contemplating making a trip to the TribTron to watch the banner raising with 5000 of my friends/fellow fans. I just got my new Fleury jersey in the mail so I'm definitely wearing it to ring in the new season. Things like these are a big deal in these parts... you gotta dress up. My Hot-as-Balls Boyfriend can't make it so I'm looking for a "date" since I don't wanna go alone.

LEMME KNOW IF YINZ IS INTERESTED!!!

In the meantime, I'm gonna crawl back into bed, watch Home Movies on Adult Swim and drift off to sleep... its the little things, folks. The little things. Plus I gotta clean the place up before the Hot-as-Balls Boyfriend shows up to spoil me tomorrow.

I Bet My Last 5 Days Were WAAAY Better than Your Last 5 Days!

So if anyone's been paying any attention at all to this blog, you'll have noticed that a) my timers on the sidebar expired meaning that b) I've seen Gwen, Tony, Tom and Adrian and c) I've been to Toronto!

First and foremost: PENS Win!!! I can't even remember the last time I've drank so much. Its not my fault that people kept buying me beer and shots. The only downside to this is that my cousin, in his celebratory excitement, knocked over a few beers thus drowning my phone and dropping it off a high table. The phone seems to have survived, though can't keep a battery charge now and I've had to send my pink plastic phone cover to a better place (aka the landfill) since it cracked to an unrepairable state. We did have a mini Stanley Cup being passed around and here's a picture of my Russian friend giving it some special Ruski love.

I had to get home early because I had an appointment for a mani/pedi at a place downtown. The word hangover doesn't quite describe how awful I felt. On the way downtown, I actually had to pull over on 376 inbound to get sick. Again, can't remember the last time this all happened but I obviously blocked it out of memory for a reason because it felt awful! Frankly, I haven't had a drink since.

I got my nails done and frankly, I'm not mentioning the place I went to because I'm not completely satisfied with the job. Granted, part of it is my fault because I didn't speak up but I shouldn't have to instruct my nail tech on how to treat cuticles or calloused feet. Anyway, immediately after, my Hot-as-Balls Boyfriend picked me up for a quick trip back to his apartment before the No Doubt concert later that night.

I got in a quick nap and we went to dinner at Palomino downtown. Palomino is a chain restaurant, that said--I probably wouldn't be recommending this place to anyone anyway but I made a mental note to actually deter anyone from going there. The service was slow, the staff was aloof and the price much too expensive for what you're getting. Though I enjoyed the food, when a server dropped a fork on the floor after busing a table--he just let it stay there I'd say for about 10 minutes until a fellow patron opted to pick it up and put it on his table. I think anyone in the food and beverage industry would agree that it's pretty unacceptable but what really infuriated me was that servers just walked over the thing taking no responsibility for it whatsoever. It wasn't quite so busy that someone couldn't take 2 seconds from doing nothing (because they certainly weren't refilling my iced tea glass) to bend over and pick up 1 simple fork.

What I also felt was lacking was the attention to detail. One of my favorite desserts is creme brulee so I was delighted when I saw it on the menu but it was listed as a chocolate/grand marnier combo. Not wanting chocolate, I asked if it was possible to just get the grand marnier. My very generous server asked the chef and then reported back saying, "He said ordinarily no, but since he's in a good mood today--ok. But don't count on it the next time."

Wow, ok! Thanks...

Turns out, I couldn't count on it this time either. I definitely got chocolate and grand marnier.

Unfortunately for my server (who really was quite nice, generous and a bit overwhelmed), I wasn't impressed and started getting extremely antsy when I got a text from my friend that traffic to Starlake was awful. We left in a rush.

And then we sat in traffic for literally an hour.

We parked and got through security just in time to see the last 2 songs that Paramore performed and watch the roadies tear down their set to put up No Doubt's. Pit seats for No Doubt are about the best gift I've ever given to myself (I did buy these tickets for myself for my birthday back in March, if you recall). The play list was amazing, I got to see Gwen sing all my favorites: I'm Just a Girl, Don't Speak, Hey Baby, Hella Good, New, Running, A Simple Kind of Life... And I was right in front of Tony the whole time. Adrian came out for the finale wearing a pink tutu and a blue Sidney Crosby jersey... I was still feeling a little hung over but any nausea instantly vanished upon seeing that. Here's a few pictures (the entire albums are posted on my facebook).


You can click on any of the pictures to blow them up to their full size but fyi: you'll navigate away from the blog. Also, I realize the quality isn't the great but its hard to get anyone to stand still in No Doubt while they're performing. If you haven't gone to one of their shows before, its INCREDIBLY high energy and Gwen is a spitfire. I don't know how she sings and moves as much as she does. Actually, I do know--she's awesome!

Finale: All 3 Bands on Stage for Stand and Deliver (a song I'm admittedly not familiar with but WOW!)

I had to semi drag my Hot-as-Balls boyfriend to this concert. By the end, I asked him up front how surprised he was and he very readily admitted that he was impressed with the band live but mostly with Gwen's energy and excitement.

Here's the setlist and review from the PPG:

Setlist: * unconfirmed, setlist corrections always welcome in feedback module below

Spiderwebs
Hella Good
Underneath It All
Excuse Me Mr.
Ex-Girlfriend
End It On This
Simple Kind of Life
Bathwater
Guns of Navarone
New
Hey Baby
Running
Different People
Don't Speak
It's My Life
Just A Girl

Encore:

Rock Steady
Stand and Deliver
Sunday Morning

Review: Pittsburgh Post-Gazette
by Scott Mervis

Stefani, No Doubt give fans great party

It's hard to watch No Doubt for 90 minutes and not end up at least mildly in awe of Gwen Stefani.

The singer who gave us "Just a Girl" not only has big pipes but she seems like the kind of girl who could hold her own in a ska-punk circle pit.

She's also a 39-year-old mom with a toddler and a baby, and she somehow managed to show up for this reunion run with a perfectly flat belly and a full reserve of energy.

On Saturday night, Stefani saw to it that the thousands who endured the traffic to the Post-Gazette Pavilion got a party for their trouble. No Doubt hit the stage after spirited opening sets by the Sounds and Paramore looking like an Orange County mod squad in their gleaming whites. For the next hour and a half No Doubt bounced around the stage seeming truly excited to be finished with that five-year break.

With no new album and no new agenda, fans got the best of No Doubt, starting with the ska-pop breakout "Spiderwebs" and then "Hella Good," a club banger that had the excitable crowd bouncing as one.

Surely, the Penguins' Stanley Cup victory the night before upped the party vibe, and Stefani made early mention of it, to a roar of cheers. Spontaneous and fully in charge of the stage, she pulled a fan up for a hug, chatted with people about items they were holding up (like a picture of her husband Gavin Rossdale) and had everyone turn around while she got the fans on the lawn to jump on "Different People."

In her skin-tight clothes and pin-up platinum hair, Stefani has her own retro-futuristic style, with electric movements and facial expressions that can quickly go from smile to sneer.

The set was fast-paced with upbeat songs such as "Underneath It All," "Don't Let Go Away" and "Ex-Girlfriend," featuring the band members -- Tom Dumont, Adrian Young and Tony Kanal -- in a cool James Bond-style video. The dance hit "Hey Baby" broke into rap with vocal assists from horn player/keyboardists Stephen Bradley and Gabrial McNair.

Stefani was on top of the vocals throughout but got her chance to really shine on the ballad "Don't Speak," which also came with an intricate acoustic solo from Dumont. No Doubt pumped the energy up again with its cover of "It's My Life," a gender-bending sing-along on "Just a Girl" and the slow reggae groove of "Rock Steady."

Stefani kept commenting on the big, fun-loving crowd that greeted them. If No Doubt has any doubts about the viability of this reunion, they had to be put to rest by the response from the 17,000 in Burgettstown.

Afterwards, we sought out the only IHOP in the area for some serious pancakes. It was like seeing an oasis in the desert. I don't know why there aren't more IHOPs in Pittsburgh, but there needs to be!

I got maybe 4 hours of sleep. My Hot-as-Balls Boyfriend woke me up the next day at 6am to be on the road to Toronto by 7. This was actually pretty successful. I immediately went into Tourist Mode though and started taking pictures of EVERYTHING (!!!) this includes totally geeking out and getting excited over French signage and Canadian money.

If you're not completely up to speed on Canadian Lingo, a "Loonie" isn't a crazy person on the street, its how they refer to their $1 coin. Its not a nickname, its actually the word for the $1 CAN in Canada since a Loonie has a picture of a Loon, a bird, on it. Additionally, a "Toonie" is their $2 coin named as such because it equals 2 Loonies. Canada likes to keep things simple. This picture was taken at the Hockey Hall of Fame in Toronto. Its the side of a table hockey game which specifically states, Loonies Only!!

Speaking of which: here's a picture of some loonies and toonies and other Canadian change.
Clockwise from Center: loonies, toonies, quarters, nickles and pennies. Yes, I'm a dork. Also, Canada owns because its $5 bills have a bunch of kids playing hockey on the back of it.

Speaking of hockey, it was a REALLY big deal in Canada that the Penguins won the Stanley Cup. I daresay an even bigger deal than it was here in Pittsburgh. Wherever we went, if either of us were wearing any piece of Pens fanware, we'd get stopped and congratulated by perfect strangers.

A waiter our first night noticed my Hot-as-Balls Boyfriend's blue Pens hat and said, "Good on ya, eh!" in the middle of a conversation about Toronto and then went off on a 5 minute tangent about how great Marc-Andre Fleury was and how he made the save "every kid dreams of making," I was amazed. The next day, my boyfriend was wearing his Talbot tshirt I got him over a month ago and was asked a few different times if he just got it after the game or if he knew the whole time that Mad Max would make the difference. Some random yuppie business man in a suit stopped us on Yonge and Dundas and just said, "Sorry, I don't mean to bother you but AWESOME tshirt, man!" The sort of attention he and I got just for wearing what any other Pens fan around Pittsburgh would wear was celebrity. We got congratulated like he and I were Marc-Andre Fleury and Max Talbot.

I equally caused a little riot at the Hockey Hall of Fame gift shop because I wore the Pens 2009 Stanley Cup Champion locker room hat I bought the day before we left at Dick's. A handful of kids, their parents and French people saw me with it on while visiting and assumed I'd gotten there instead of realizing I was a genuine fan from the 'Burgh. They were quite disappointed but very impressed that I'd already had a change to get my hands on one and a got a few compliments of my own.

We also ran into a group of people from Pittsburgh. I didn't ask where they were from but it was pretty awesome to hear a few Yinzers among the group of French kids following us around and hosers talking about how much they were jonesing for some Tim Hortons.

In light of the fact that Pittsburgh just won the Stanley Cup, I also wanted to include the following picture in my blog:


The Hockey Hall of Fame is located in an old, converted bank. This Ring, along with the original Stanley Cup, is appropriately located in the bank's vault--adjacent to the Stanley Cup room and inductee plaques. I got pictures of the plaques for Mike Lange, Mario Lemieux and Bob Johnson. Yeah, I'm a tourist.

The TTC (Toronto Transit Commission) must take a lot of pride in its public transportation because it certainly seems like it does. Its clean, safe and extremely manageable. The transfers don't make a lot of sense to me (since you can't use them at the station you got them from) but I'm sure given more time, I'd have mastered the art of remembering to pick them up. If you go to Toronto, get the TTC Day Pass. Its $9 per person and allows you usage of the subway system, street cars and buses. Its dumb not to have it. Its equally dumb to try and use your car to get around when the TTC is available.

I could seriously go on and on way more than I already have about how great an experience I had in Toronto. Canada was great and I can't wait to go back for more than 2 hours in Niagara Falls... oh wait, I have some pictures of that too:

The Canadian "horseshoe" side of the Falls.

The American "straight" side of the Falls.

I already know what hotel we're staying at when we go back and what we're doing when we go there. If you get the opportunity to go to Niagara, go! Go for 2 days if not more. A day trip doesn't do it justice!!!

I'm ending this entry with a picture of the happy couple as we left Toronto. More pictures will be posted on my facebook tonight if not tomorrow after I get home from work.

I got those Ralph Lauren sunglasses at Eaton Centre for a great deal since it was all Canadian $20s. WOOO! PS We're cute!

Game 5: What a Bunch of Crap!

I just got home from the bar.

I don't have much to say other than I am completely and totally appalled by the officiating in Game 5 of the Stanley Cup Finals. Letting them play is one thing but only calling penalties against one of the two teams makes the game lop-sided.

Do all these rejoicing Red Wings fans realize that they had a Power Play for 22 minutes of the game? That's OVER 1 full period.

Sure, Fleury let goals by. Only 2 of them were his fault. He can't make his offense want to play and he certainly can't defend on his own against 22 minutes of short hand. FYI Detroit, he pulled himself. It wasn't Detroit beating him that won them the game. It was the officials mismanaging calls and the Penguins lack of ability to do anything with the puck. The Red Wings didn't win Game 5. The officials controlled the game with 11 of the 13 penalties going on the Penguins.

Before you start celebrating, Red Wings fans, realize that the Powers-That-Be will flip the table on you in Game 6 since both the NHL and NBC want this series to go to a Game 7 because they want the viewers to take an interest. The NHL wants the Penguins to win because it looks like an underdog story and Penguins merchandise is currently the fastest growing merchandise brand in the nation. The NHL wants those new buyers to watch so they can make more money with the networks and the networks want the viewers so they can make more money from sponsors.

This is a money game at work.

As for Marc-Andre Fleury, I love him. The score doesn't accurately reflect how he played. The shots on goal don't accurately reflect how he played.

By the way, how the FUCK does Chris Osgood get a Star when he did nothing all game???? "Hey, stand there." Big deal. They got a shut out, that doesn't mean he did well.

I'm sure Mighty #66 is having a fit right now... as well he should!

Reason # 322 My Boyfriend is Fucking AWESOME!

Quick update before work.

Yesterday a man walked through my lobby. He was wearing the most amazing Pens tshirt I'd ever seen.

It was a perfect shade of yellow with caricatures of Sidney Crosby, Geno Malkin and Marc-Andre Fleury on the front with the caption "MALKIN IN THE MIDDLE." Anything with Flower on it is instantly a favorite (how amazing is Fleury's nickname btw) but this tshirt was top shelf. I immediately stopped the man by yelling at him and asked where he got this incredible piece of fanware.

"One of the Buccos street vendors over there on the Clemente Bridge n'at," replied the man in one of the thicker accents I'd heard in a while.

For the next 6 hours, I fixated on this shirt. I had to have it. I was telling everyone about it, even my new manager, The Guy With the Awesome Name. Since he and his wife were headed over to PNC for SkyBlast last night, he told me he'd look around for it and if I had cash, he'd definitely make the purchase and bring it back before they went to the park.

By the grace of God (and my new manager, the Guy With the Awesome Name but thats another story completely), I had cash on me! I gave him $20 and sent him on his way.

He came back dressed in jeans and a Bucco's t-shirt with a sad look on his face, "They weren't over there," he reported and handed me my money back. "But I've seen those shirts before and yeah they're awesome so I think you should check out the Strip tomorrow morning. You'll probably find them there!"

What a terrific idea, Mr. Awesome Name! I just might do that. Only problem was, I had no way to get to the strip early. Frustrated, I headed home for the night.

Fast-forwarding to after the Pens game, my Hot-as-Balls Boyfriend called to say good night. I barely remembered what his voice sounded like because I hadn't spoken to him in forever so we ended up talking for about 90 minutes (thats an hour and a half for those of you keeping score). Catching up on talking about work and life, the universe and everything, I mentioned the Mr. Awesome Name/Shirt story.

My Hot-as-Balls Boyfriend definitely agreed that Mr Awesome Name does indeed have an Awesome Name and that I was equally awesome for sending my manager to go look for a tshirt for me. Additionally, my Hot-as-Balls Boyfriend was equally bummed that I was not able to obtain a tshirt for myself during this story.

Long story short (oh look its too late): I got a text from my Hot-as-Balls Boyfriend this morning around 10:20am containing the following picture.


I might have a huge crush on Marc-Andre Fleury (that I refuse to admit to anyone btw) but I don't think that Flower would be going out of his way to go to the Strip District at 10am to find me an $8 tshirt.

I have the BEST boyfriend in the world and this is just another reason why my boyfriend is better than your boyfriend.

Also, I was supposed to be off today. Since my management team has been working 12 hour shifts, I agreed to let both of them take the day off and come in when one of my coworkers called off for tonight. Yay team players!

I tried to find a clip on youtube from Clerks of Dante crying, "I'm not even supposed to be here today" but apparently thats a hard find, which is sort of suprising considering he says it in every scene. Instead, here's a runner up: Jay and Silent Bob!!

Hi. I'm Not Dead... Yet!

I spoke to my friend Anonymous Andrew from Fairbanks, Alaska via MSN tonight:

omg its Jen! says (2:22 AM):
sup superstar
Andrew says (2:22 AM):
Geeze, blog more imo
omg its Jen! says (2:22 AM):
nothing to write about atm
well nothing worth writing about tbh
Andrew says (2:23 AM):
With the Pengs in the finals you have nothing?
omg its Jen! says (2:23 AM):
follow me on twitter lawl

So Anonymous Andrew from Fairbanks, Alaska... this one's for you!



Andrew and I used to game together but right now I can't decide if he's more the Johnny Depp wannabe elf or the Unicorn? LMK Andrew, kk? xoxo

Anyway, The truth is here (with 100% degree of certainty) that I've been so incredibly busy with work that I haven't found time to even bitch about it. I got another 3hrs of overtime today because my morning supervisor wasn't able to stay late when someone called off so I had to do it. Honestly, I don't know what's worse here: the fact that a supervisory position might not be opening up or the fact that I may not want it when it does.

I spent most of my time in Vegas wanting to get promoted. I knew I'd be an awesome manager. I still think I'd be an awesome manager but 8 years later, I'm in a different city and with a different company that has different policies. Honestly, I don't completely agree with the "culture" of my current property because my experience is based out of a place nicknamed "Sin City."

Checking photo ID is considered taboo here. I don't quite understand why. Credit card fraud isn't exactly uncommon plus I want to know I'm giving the right room to the right person. Meyer and Myer are both standard spellings for the same name. If I miss something as easy as that, a guest could wind up in a wrong reservation. I've had to clean up that mess before. Its not pretty, especially if 1 of the 2 reservations was prepaid by a company like Expedia or Hotwire.

They let pizza delivery guys up on the floors. Admittedly, this procedure has changed since I started in August but it was because I was so adamantly against it. Just because a guy walks in with a pizza box and a Milano's tshirt shouldn't give him right of way onto my property. Cafe Milano's wouldn't see me busting into their kitchen to start stealing all their ingredients but unfortunately these delivery guys don't get it so they still try and slide by my desk unnoticed. They then give me an attitude when I stop them. You know, I hate Milano's! Giovanni's guys are way more respectful.

Its ok for housekeeping to leave rooms over until the next day. Anyone that's ever worked at a hotel will probably see the problem with this right away. If you're like me and you come from a property with nearly 4000 rooms, your head might explode like mine does every time housekeeping calls me to advise of the carry-overs. On days I'm not sold out, I still need the rooms cleaned. That's not to say I don't know where housekeeping is coming from since I used do do that job but Jesus dude... I still need the rooms ready even if someone has to go home early.

Speaking of housekeeping: do NOT refer to the housekeepers as "maids." Holy fuck did I get bitched out my first week of work!! A beer is a beer regardless of the packaging you put it in. Lager, Port, Stout... it's still beer, it's just another word for it. I've cleaned up after people and have been called a maid when I was doing it--there's nothing wrong with being called a maid. Don't hate the player, hate the game: meaning if you don't like being called a maid, get another job. Otherwise, a spade's a spade.

I could go on but firing people is a new past-time for our property so I'll refrain and reiterate that I'm happy to be under new management. Our new Front Office Manager (I guess that's his title???) is going to work out great. He's super nice and knowledgeable and is catching on fast to things that work, don't work and the department in general. Woo! He also has a GREAT name. I wish I could tell you but then I'd have to kill you.

The soles of my feet are incredibly itchy. The old wives tale says that when your feet itch, it means you're ready to travel. Ordinarily, I'd say "HELL YES, TORONTO HERE I COME" but I work in a hotel. My body might just be confused. For you hecklers out there, I've already showered.

Why is golf on TV?

Game 1 of the Stanley Cup Finals starts tomorrow at 8pm. I'm not staying later at work then absolutely necessary. I don't need to talk about how great this match up is going to be, I just want to comment on 1 thing:

The media is exploiting this angle so I can too

I hope Hossa gets creamed. I don't personally hate the guy but I just think the irony of his situation is basically outstanding. Leaving the Penguins after last season and signing with Detroit to work with a better coach and a more productive team only to meet them again in the SCF is just mind blowing. Its also got loads of Schadenfreude potential. Pens in 5.

Also, Detroit Red Wings fans are obnoxious and easy to hate. I'm sure I'll start shit talking here pretty soon but in the meantime all I got is that throwing an octopus on the ice is only something an idiot would do. Why the fuck would you lug that smelly thing around? Also, can you imagine if that thing didn't make it onto the ice on the first throw? Some unsuspecting fan in the crowd gets to take an octopus to the head mid beer-sip. What a bunch of assholes.

My bell captain at work gave me a riddle to play with earlier today. Its Einstein's Riddle:

There are no tricks, just pure logic, so good luck and don't give up.

1. In a street there are five houses, painted five different colours.
2. In each house lives a person of different nationality
3. These five homeowners each drink a different kind of beverage, smoke different brand of cigar and keep a different pet.

THE QUESTION: WHO OWNS THE FISH?

HINTS

1. The Brit lives in a red house.
2. The Swede keeps dogs as pets.
3. The Dane drinks tea.
4. The Green house is next to, and on the left of the White house.
5. The owner of the Green house drinks coffee.
6. The person who smokes Pall Mall rears birds.
7. The owner of the Yellow house smokes Dunhill.
8. The man living in the centre house drinks milk.
9. The Norwegian lives in the first house.
10. The man who smokes Blends lives next to the one who keeps cats.
11. The man who keeps horses lives next to the man who smokes Dunhill.
12. The man who smokes Blue Master drinks beer.
13. The German smokes Prince.
14. The Norwegian lives next to the blue house.
15. The man who smokes Blends has a neighbour who drinks water.

ALBERT EINSTEIN WROTE THIS RIDDLE EARLY DURING THE 19th CENTURY. HE SAID THAT 98% OF THE WORLD POPULATION WOULD NOT BE ABLE TO SOLVE IT.

In return, I provided him the following question:

There's only 1 word in the English language that allows usage of all 5 vowels in order and even sometimes y. What word is it?

With that, I'm going to do my hair and go to bed.

Detroit and Carolina Advance in Stanley Cup Playoffs, Will Work for Playoff Tickets.

Jonas Hiller is currently suiciding somewhere in Detroit while the Boston Bruins realize that outplaying a team doesn't necessarily mean they'll win.

Boston wanted it more but couldn't beat Cam Ward's octo-goalie skills. Honorable mention Tim Thomas equally had a nice showing but I'm pretty sure (even without knowing or looking up the stats) that Boston had way more shots on goal than Carolina did thus making Cam Ward's performance all that more impressive... at least to me.

And remember, I know nothing about hockey.

Anyway, I called Carolina... but I also called the Ducks. 2/4 for only paying attention since the Pens got rid of Michel Therrien isn't too bad.

Semis start on Sunday, May 17th with Red Wings/Hawks. Opening night for Pens vs Canes: Monday, May 18th. Times will be released as soon as NBC gives everyone the authorization to breathe in public.

The only reason I feel bad that the Bruins lost tonight:



This kid is probably crushed. :(

I'd also like to take this opportunity to positively THANK the powers-that-be for airing the Western Conference game between Detroit and Anaheim instead of the game that actually mattered between Carolina and Boston. News Flash: Pittsburgh is an Eastern Conference club, we'd be interested in wtf was going on in the East. Jerks.

In other news, I got my schedule from work today. I get to see all playoff games due to working the early shift which is great. Unfortunately, this cuts into my hot-as-balls boyfriend time since he's a PM supervisor. What also sucks is that I don't have a day off until next Thursday and even then--yeah, split days off.

I need a new line of work. God!

Course, I've also been saying that for about 5 years now... right after I say, "Checking in?"

Pittsburgh: City of Champions

This is Bob.

Bob's telling us what he thinks of the Capitals.

Actually, I think he was giving me the finger but I don't remember why so I'm just using the Capitals as a scapegoat since all I've learned from watching them play is how to make excuses.

Since I'm pissed off at hockey due to the disappointments of the last 24hrs (ie the Pens going to a 7th game vs the Capitals and the Canucks getting eliminated by the Blackhawks...), I decided to take a day off from the sport and chill with my hot-as-balls boyfriend instead.

The day started off good enough. I got a new pair of shoes (or two) and had a solid lunch then retired to my hot-as-balls boyfriend's apartment for some surprise sex. He asked me if I wanted to go to the Pirates game and not being a girl that likes to pass up a chance to watch an emo guy play centerfield, I totally agreed.

Unfortunately for my anti-hockey state of mind, we started listening to Mark Madden on 105.9 ("Ze Eeeeexe") on the way to PNC Park and listened to him back Fleury for being an awesome goalie (cuz it's true) and basically rehash the pain of last night.

As a quick side note here: Why to Pittsburgh sports fans call Mark Madden when they don't know what the fuck they're talking about. I like Mark Madden because he's an asshole that doesn't hold anything back. He'll call you out for being an idiot if your opinion is based on either lack of knowledge or just plain stupidity. He gets some bad reviews from a couple of my friends but he's fun to listen to, he knows what he's talking about and I like the music he plays. So fuck you!

Anyway... moving right along, I haven't been to a Pirates game since high school when Three Rivers Stadium was the place to be and Jason Kendall was the hottest guy in the city. PNC Park lived up to the hype. It's a beautiful stadium and a remarkable place to spend a late afternoon and evening--nice place for a date, totally recommend it. I ended up spending $50 on a long sleeved Pirates T shirt (which is fucking baller by the way). Ordinarily, I would never spend that much on a T shirt but this one is particularly nice. I also get a feeling that its somewhat couture since I don't see anyone else spending this much on a Pirates long sleeved T.

My hot-as-balls boyfriend decided to go for a new jersey as well. To the left, you see him sporting some sweet banana yellow. What you don't see is "Clemente 21" on the back. What you also don't see is the huge pile of cheesy fries the geezer behind him has in his hand which is why he's looking so happy! (Edit: WOOOOOW! What you ALSO don't see unless you click on the picture to blow it up to its real size is my fucking tits reflected in my boyfriend's sunglasses... Oh well, there's your pic of my new long sleeved T!)

We got baseline seats from a promotion I gave to my hot-as-balls boyfriend for his birthday last Friday which he wasn't expecting. I told him a couple different times that we'd have sweet baseline seats but he either didn't believe me or just ignored it. When we finally sat down to look at this:

He kept saying, "Oh my God! Oh my God! These are great seats. Thank you!" which made me feel good but I was also quite amused by how excited he was to be at his first baseball game in 2 years (the seats filled up before the 2nd inning). Check out some Before and After pix here.

Before he saw where we were sitting:

THEN: After we sat down...

See how much happier he is. :)

Here's some other pictures I took at the game (cuz its interesting):

Pittsburgh's smokin Skyline.

This guy is probably the coolest guy at the park. He's a Security Guy/Usher named Phillip C. who works tirelessly and endlessly to escort people to their seats and yell at idiot drunks to tell them to quit throwing popcorn and tell the guy who nearly knocks over 5 year olds that their assholes for not giving the kid the foul ball they just caught. He also drinks lemonade out of a dixie cup while watching the game from right behind our seats. He's basically the biggest baller in the city. I. Love. Phillip. C!

Speaking of Lemonade, I learned a valuable piece of Pittsburgh Trivia tonight. Did you know that Mellon Arena's Cotton Candy Man, seen here:



Is the SAME dude that sells "Lemonade Here" at PNC Park?



If you listen closely, you can hear more than just my boyfriend mentioning "Cotton Candy" as he goes by too. I can't help but wonder a) why PNC Park doesn't have him selling Cotton Candy during Pirates games and b) if this guy knows that he's a Pittsburgh Icon.

This guy's so fucking huge to Pittsburgh sports fans that they text 28226 to send text messages to the boards at PNC Park, dedicating texts of 40 characters or less to him. "Lemonade Here!" and "Cooootton Caaandy!" were seen more than once between innings.

Finally, here's a picture of the guy that's got my dream job:


It dawned on me that in order to even try out to be Iceburgh at Penguin games, I'd have to learn to skate because I'm pretty sure Iceburgh skates. That's so fucking lame!

Surprisingly, the Pirates actually won tonight beating the Cardinals with a final score of 7 to 1. LaRoche didn't suck tonight to show off his HR skillz and ditto Brandon Moss.

At the bottom of the 6th, my boyfriend and I heard some guy scream, "We're FUCKED!" Which was pretty amazing in itself. We turned around and happened to see these two guys wearing their Rally Caps:

Tomorrow is another Great Day for Hockey. I get off work at 7:30pm... just in time to see the puck drop in Washington. There's no living with me for the next 48hrs!

GO PENS!