Heinz Catch-Up. Get it?

I'm sick.

Not sick in a figurative way but in a literal way. Remember back in late March and early April when I died? Yeah, its that kind of sick again. The Hot-as-Balls Boyfriend (yes he's still around cuz he's fucking awesome) texted me earlier saying that I have some goodies and spoiling to look forward to tomorrow. Ooh! I like both goodies and being spoiled. Sounds like this is right up my ally.

Lets see what all needs to be caught up on:


Work: The G-20 was a J-Joke. 4 months of preparation for 2 nights of absolutely nothing going on downtown except some Pitt students running around like idiots and then realizing, "oh LOL look I'm 18 and mom and dad aren't here to clean this up for me... uh... shit what do I do? Oh... I know!

"FUCK THE PO-LICE"


No asshole, fuck you. You came in here from small town Akron, OH to study psychology and when classes started at the end of August, you heard that there was about to be a meeting of the world's leaders close by. You instantly wanted a chance to tell your kids one day that you took part in a protest, you wanted to stand up for something but you're not sure what exactly so you just decided to go up to Shadyside and throw a rock at a Boston Market's front window. Why? Cuz FUCK Boston, you didn't get into Harvard! Right??


Then you decided to screw w/ Pamela's. That's how we know you're from out of town. No one from Pittsburgh would mess with Pamela's. Quit crying about your constitutional rights. When you showed up on the scene without an exit strategy, you forfeited your constitutional rights...


Let this be a lesson to you, Mr Smarter-Than-Thou-University-Student: you ALWAYS need an exit strategy. You're going to Pitt ffs; if the cops show up when you're underage drinking, you need an exit strategy. If her boyfriend shows up with you standing naked in her closet, you need an exit strategy. If the assembly turns out to be illegal because the smart ass that organized it forgot to get a permit, you need an exit strategy.


I'm glad you got shot with a rubber bullet, even if you're an innocent bystander. You shouldn't have been down there anyway.

Idiot.

Here's a picture of the guy that wins The Pittsburgh Summit:



That's an old Magnificent Mario jersey, you feeble-minded Non-Yinzers. This picture pretty much sums up why I love everything about this city.

That and reports that during gatherings, protests and demonstrations on Saturday, a bunch of Yinzers loaded up their paintball guns with black and yellow paintballs and went looking for some Wannabe Anarchists. Get fucked ResistG20. You're in Steel City.

Why G20 falls under the category of work is simple: I work downtown. My hotel housed delegations from France, Turkey and Germany. All the stereotypes are delightfully true. The secret service was ridiculously awesome.

I heard on WPXI this afternoon some facts and figures regarding how much money the city made vs spent vs how much the repair work would cost to get the city's windows back in working order. I don't remember actual numbers (because I was on 2hrs of sleep and cold medicine) but I can say that they were impressive and very large. All in all, this was a great event for Pittsburgh and I'm glad to have been a part of it on a very small level.

Boyfriend: As previously stated, he's fucking awesome. He just bought a house which he's letting me decorate. I've been getting a lot of the "Ooh! Are you moving in?" questions lately. Answer: I don't know, I don't think so... Ours is a relationship where things are sort of assumed. He keeps me around so I assume he still likes me. I'm not complaining so he assumes I'm happy. If there was a real problem, we'd each bring it up to the other.

Don't get me wrong, I am happy. He's pretty much the best thing that's ever happened to me. I'd just like to have the reassurance that I'm awesome. Even though I know I'm awesome, I want to know he thinks so too.

The point here was that if I'm moving in, it would just sort of happen over time. My clothes would just migrate over to his house. I can't imagine him ever coming up to me and saying, "Hey Jen, I was thinking... do you want to move in?"

His house is super cool mode too. It's got a koi pond! I need to start studying HGTV more.

We watch Adult Swim together and he gets really excited when Squidbillies comes on. I don't get that show... I'm much more of a Robot Chicken girl.

Sports: Summer's over which means that there's no more Pirate games to agonize over. Good! I got 2 tshirts from PNC Park for the 2 games I went to this year. That and a hot dog are about the most I'm willing to contribute to that franchise from now on... and now that I have the tshirts all future games I go to, I'll just be contributing the hot dog. Christ, the Buccos are SO bad. I hate them.

Its football season now, though you'd never know it by the Steelers' stellar record of 1 and 2... I just hope the boys are able to get their shit together against the Chargers this weekend. Losing to the Bears and the Bengals is an embarrassment. A quote from Major League II comes to mind:

"Ok guys, we've won 2 games in a row. If we win tonight, that's called a winning streak. It HAS happened before."

Replace "win" with "lose" and I think you see what I'm getting at here.

Friday is the Pens opening night and thank GOD for it. Its been a long 3 months without hockey. We're opening against the Rangers on Friday down at the Igloo. I'm stuck downtown for a few hours so I'm contemplating making a trip to the TribTron to watch the banner raising with 5000 of my friends/fellow fans. I just got my new Fleury jersey in the mail so I'm definitely wearing it to ring in the new season. Things like these are a big deal in these parts... you gotta dress up. My Hot-as-Balls Boyfriend can't make it so I'm looking for a "date" since I don't wanna go alone.

LEMME KNOW IF YINZ IS INTERESTED!!!

In the meantime, I'm gonna crawl back into bed, watch Home Movies on Adult Swim and drift off to sleep... its the little things, folks. The little things. Plus I gotta clean the place up before the Hot-as-Balls Boyfriend shows up to spoil me tomorrow.

Oh. Hi!

Its pretty pathetic that I took a week long vacation from life and then took a 3 week long vacation from blogging. I guess that's what happens when you don't do it for a week.

So here's the update: nothing's going on! Woo! Instead, I'm posting these 2 new pictures of me... exciting!

Work's gotten a lot better. The old boss getting the axe has provided room for new management to step in and start correcting a lot of old problems. He actually knows how to run a front desk. Unheard of! I've put my name in for a promotion and I'm up for review next month so I'll be getting a raise either way... the difference between the two, I'm sure, is about $3.

This city underpays its front desk people hard core. There's no way I'm getting paid competitively.

I've gone ahead and submitted my resume to a different property that's looking for a Front Desk Manager. I've never supervised a desk but somehow I think I could keep a 200 room property totally under control, meaning I don't think I'd burn it down or anything. Also the income would help since I really want to save up to be able to afford life's luxuries like new furniture, TV, computer, bed and whatever.

I've been home for almost a year, its time to get my ass in gear with this shit.

I started a new blog about working at a hotel's front desk. There's 1 whole entry so far. It'll totally be a famous book one day. Anyone that's ever worked at a front desk should contribute. Email me at jlmathieson@gmail.com with ideas, tips, anecdotes or really anything at all regarding staying at a hotel, working at a hotel... anything hotel related. Hey thanks!

The 4th of July came and went: I made cupcakes.

Yum, right? Buttercream frosting, blue decorative sugar, shoestring licorice and white gumdrops cut into a star shape. Total ownage on this cupcakes!

Micheal Jackson died. The world went on.

Regarding the personal life, my hot-as-balls boyfriend and I have been dating now for about 6 and a half months and officially a couple for about 5! Time flies. We went to Crepes Parisienne for lunch today then to the Pittsburgh Zoo. I didn't take any pictures of our crepes (tho they were super yummy!) but I went kinda crazy at the zoo.

Ever seen a baby elephant? I hadn't either till today. She was super cute and kept stealing hay out of mommy's mouth and trunk while she was trying to eat.

The Pittsburgh Zoo offers a mini petting zoo featuring the local species of deer. I'd never seen a fawn close up before but really... how cute! My hot-as-balls boyfriend thought so too!

The Pittsburgh Zoo actually offered a litany of baby animals: elephants, deer, beavers, sea lions, river otters and the coolest baby orangutan ever!

The other pictures I took didn't exactly come out perfectly so I'll have to do some cutting, cropping and resizing before I put them up. I heard a for real lion roar today too. They say you can hear it up to 5 miles away and yeah... I buy that. Its crazy!

Its 12:30 right now. I should probably go ahead and call off work. As great a day as I had today, it was semi-wrecked by a splitting headache which I haven't been able to shake since this morning. Naps, medicine and even a long, hot shower didn't cure it so I guess its a totally great idea that I'm still up and typing at the computer, right?

Anyway, there's the update. Hopefully, I'll be a little more diligent about updating again in the future.

Reason # 322 My Boyfriend is Fucking AWESOME!

Quick update before work.

Yesterday a man walked through my lobby. He was wearing the most amazing Pens tshirt I'd ever seen.

It was a perfect shade of yellow with caricatures of Sidney Crosby, Geno Malkin and Marc-Andre Fleury on the front with the caption "MALKIN IN THE MIDDLE." Anything with Flower on it is instantly a favorite (how amazing is Fleury's nickname btw) but this tshirt was top shelf. I immediately stopped the man by yelling at him and asked where he got this incredible piece of fanware.

"One of the Buccos street vendors over there on the Clemente Bridge n'at," replied the man in one of the thicker accents I'd heard in a while.

For the next 6 hours, I fixated on this shirt. I had to have it. I was telling everyone about it, even my new manager, The Guy With the Awesome Name. Since he and his wife were headed over to PNC for SkyBlast last night, he told me he'd look around for it and if I had cash, he'd definitely make the purchase and bring it back before they went to the park.

By the grace of God (and my new manager, the Guy With the Awesome Name but thats another story completely), I had cash on me! I gave him $20 and sent him on his way.

He came back dressed in jeans and a Bucco's t-shirt with a sad look on his face, "They weren't over there," he reported and handed me my money back. "But I've seen those shirts before and yeah they're awesome so I think you should check out the Strip tomorrow morning. You'll probably find them there!"

What a terrific idea, Mr. Awesome Name! I just might do that. Only problem was, I had no way to get to the strip early. Frustrated, I headed home for the night.

Fast-forwarding to after the Pens game, my Hot-as-Balls Boyfriend called to say good night. I barely remembered what his voice sounded like because I hadn't spoken to him in forever so we ended up talking for about 90 minutes (thats an hour and a half for those of you keeping score). Catching up on talking about work and life, the universe and everything, I mentioned the Mr. Awesome Name/Shirt story.

My Hot-as-Balls Boyfriend definitely agreed that Mr Awesome Name does indeed have an Awesome Name and that I was equally awesome for sending my manager to go look for a tshirt for me. Additionally, my Hot-as-Balls Boyfriend was equally bummed that I was not able to obtain a tshirt for myself during this story.

Long story short (oh look its too late): I got a text from my Hot-as-Balls Boyfriend this morning around 10:20am containing the following picture.


I might have a huge crush on Marc-Andre Fleury (that I refuse to admit to anyone btw) but I don't think that Flower would be going out of his way to go to the Strip District at 10am to find me an $8 tshirt.

I have the BEST boyfriend in the world and this is just another reason why my boyfriend is better than your boyfriend.

Also, I was supposed to be off today. Since my management team has been working 12 hour shifts, I agreed to let both of them take the day off and come in when one of my coworkers called off for tonight. Yay team players!

I tried to find a clip on youtube from Clerks of Dante crying, "I'm not even supposed to be here today" but apparently thats a hard find, which is sort of suprising considering he says it in every scene. Instead, here's a runner up: Jay and Silent Bob!!

Hi. I'm Not Dead... Yet!

I spoke to my friend Anonymous Andrew from Fairbanks, Alaska via MSN tonight:

omg its Jen! says (2:22 AM):
sup superstar
Andrew says (2:22 AM):
Geeze, blog more imo
omg its Jen! says (2:22 AM):
nothing to write about atm
well nothing worth writing about tbh
Andrew says (2:23 AM):
With the Pengs in the finals you have nothing?
omg its Jen! says (2:23 AM):
follow me on twitter lawl

So Anonymous Andrew from Fairbanks, Alaska... this one's for you!



Andrew and I used to game together but right now I can't decide if he's more the Johnny Depp wannabe elf or the Unicorn? LMK Andrew, kk? xoxo

Anyway, The truth is here (with 100% degree of certainty) that I've been so incredibly busy with work that I haven't found time to even bitch about it. I got another 3hrs of overtime today because my morning supervisor wasn't able to stay late when someone called off so I had to do it. Honestly, I don't know what's worse here: the fact that a supervisory position might not be opening up or the fact that I may not want it when it does.

I spent most of my time in Vegas wanting to get promoted. I knew I'd be an awesome manager. I still think I'd be an awesome manager but 8 years later, I'm in a different city and with a different company that has different policies. Honestly, I don't completely agree with the "culture" of my current property because my experience is based out of a place nicknamed "Sin City."

Checking photo ID is considered taboo here. I don't quite understand why. Credit card fraud isn't exactly uncommon plus I want to know I'm giving the right room to the right person. Meyer and Myer are both standard spellings for the same name. If I miss something as easy as that, a guest could wind up in a wrong reservation. I've had to clean up that mess before. Its not pretty, especially if 1 of the 2 reservations was prepaid by a company like Expedia or Hotwire.

They let pizza delivery guys up on the floors. Admittedly, this procedure has changed since I started in August but it was because I was so adamantly against it. Just because a guy walks in with a pizza box and a Milano's tshirt shouldn't give him right of way onto my property. Cafe Milano's wouldn't see me busting into their kitchen to start stealing all their ingredients but unfortunately these delivery guys don't get it so they still try and slide by my desk unnoticed. They then give me an attitude when I stop them. You know, I hate Milano's! Giovanni's guys are way more respectful.

Its ok for housekeeping to leave rooms over until the next day. Anyone that's ever worked at a hotel will probably see the problem with this right away. If you're like me and you come from a property with nearly 4000 rooms, your head might explode like mine does every time housekeeping calls me to advise of the carry-overs. On days I'm not sold out, I still need the rooms cleaned. That's not to say I don't know where housekeeping is coming from since I used do do that job but Jesus dude... I still need the rooms ready even if someone has to go home early.

Speaking of housekeeping: do NOT refer to the housekeepers as "maids." Holy fuck did I get bitched out my first week of work!! A beer is a beer regardless of the packaging you put it in. Lager, Port, Stout... it's still beer, it's just another word for it. I've cleaned up after people and have been called a maid when I was doing it--there's nothing wrong with being called a maid. Don't hate the player, hate the game: meaning if you don't like being called a maid, get another job. Otherwise, a spade's a spade.

I could go on but firing people is a new past-time for our property so I'll refrain and reiterate that I'm happy to be under new management. Our new Front Office Manager (I guess that's his title???) is going to work out great. He's super nice and knowledgeable and is catching on fast to things that work, don't work and the department in general. Woo! He also has a GREAT name. I wish I could tell you but then I'd have to kill you.

The soles of my feet are incredibly itchy. The old wives tale says that when your feet itch, it means you're ready to travel. Ordinarily, I'd say "HELL YES, TORONTO HERE I COME" but I work in a hotel. My body might just be confused. For you hecklers out there, I've already showered.

Why is golf on TV?

Game 1 of the Stanley Cup Finals starts tomorrow at 8pm. I'm not staying later at work then absolutely necessary. I don't need to talk about how great this match up is going to be, I just want to comment on 1 thing:

The media is exploiting this angle so I can too

I hope Hossa gets creamed. I don't personally hate the guy but I just think the irony of his situation is basically outstanding. Leaving the Penguins after last season and signing with Detroit to work with a better coach and a more productive team only to meet them again in the SCF is just mind blowing. Its also got loads of Schadenfreude potential. Pens in 5.

Also, Detroit Red Wings fans are obnoxious and easy to hate. I'm sure I'll start shit talking here pretty soon but in the meantime all I got is that throwing an octopus on the ice is only something an idiot would do. Why the fuck would you lug that smelly thing around? Also, can you imagine if that thing didn't make it onto the ice on the first throw? Some unsuspecting fan in the crowd gets to take an octopus to the head mid beer-sip. What a bunch of assholes.

My bell captain at work gave me a riddle to play with earlier today. Its Einstein's Riddle:

There are no tricks, just pure logic, so good luck and don't give up.

1. In a street there are five houses, painted five different colours.
2. In each house lives a person of different nationality
3. These five homeowners each drink a different kind of beverage, smoke different brand of cigar and keep a different pet.

THE QUESTION: WHO OWNS THE FISH?

HINTS

1. The Brit lives in a red house.
2. The Swede keeps dogs as pets.
3. The Dane drinks tea.
4. The Green house is next to, and on the left of the White house.
5. The owner of the Green house drinks coffee.
6. The person who smokes Pall Mall rears birds.
7. The owner of the Yellow house smokes Dunhill.
8. The man living in the centre house drinks milk.
9. The Norwegian lives in the first house.
10. The man who smokes Blends lives next to the one who keeps cats.
11. The man who keeps horses lives next to the man who smokes Dunhill.
12. The man who smokes Blue Master drinks beer.
13. The German smokes Prince.
14. The Norwegian lives next to the blue house.
15. The man who smokes Blends has a neighbour who drinks water.

ALBERT EINSTEIN WROTE THIS RIDDLE EARLY DURING THE 19th CENTURY. HE SAID THAT 98% OF THE WORLD POPULATION WOULD NOT BE ABLE TO SOLVE IT.

In return, I provided him the following question:

There's only 1 word in the English language that allows usage of all 5 vowels in order and even sometimes y. What word is it?

With that, I'm going to do my hair and go to bed.

Fleury vs Freddy, What Now Pittsburgh!

I can't sleep.

Its 12:30 and I've been in bed for an hour and a half. Insomnia frustrates the hell out of me. At the very least, I can find comfort in the fact that I can pinpoint the cause of the stress that induces my bouts of insomnia.

Work.

Yep, you guessed it. That grease-spot of hate called the "Hotel" is completely at fault. Laying in bed, I find myself staring at the ceiling positively dreading the alarm clock turning over to 5am. I ask myself how much longer can I go on like this? There's no end in sight. I've been in this position before.

That's when I finally quit my cushy job at Bellagio.

Quitting that job is pretty much where this new chapter of my life started. I got fed up being miserable and decided to give myself not just a physical make-over but a life make-over too... like Cher in Clueless when she says, "this time I would make over my soul." Sometimes I look back at the chain of events that happened over the course of 1 year and I wonder where I'd be if I had just stayed at Bellagio.

Oh wait, I know the answer to that. I'd still be miserable. Gotcha!

So why am I staying at my present job? Cuz its the best hotel in the city and I'm worth working at the best hotel in the city... only they're not paying me enough while they work me too hard and don't show any appreciation whatsoever.

You could say that morale is not only in the garbage but that it was just picked up by Waste Management and toted down the street, plowing over traffic cones as it went.

I need a new perspective, I've needed one for about 6 weeks now. I was banking on my 3 days off to rejuvenate me and had high hopes that I'd be able to walk in that building tomorrow refreshed and with a better outlook. Yeah right. Not even the Pirates beating the Cubs tonight could possibly inspire me out of this bubble of despair.

Although, I will say this: Freddy Sanchez is one of the best looking athletes on any Pittsburgh sports team right now (with the possible exception of a certain goalie that I harbor a secret crush on but would never admit to in public though I'll be sporting mighty #29 tomorrow afternoon. Hizzah)!

Fleury... Freddy... Freddy... Fleury
It might be illegal for me to put them side-by-side like this but... yeah. I do what I want.

Hmm.. I might want to change that caption, it reminds me of David Letterman's Academy Awards Hosting fiasco between Uma Thurman and Oprah Winfrey. Although I do think that my Pittsburgh version is better. Its certainly better looking, I mean look at those smiles. God, what girl (or lets be real, what homosexual male) could resist? I think this might be the best entry I've ever written just because I took the time to find those 2 pictures, put them next to each other and upload them. God, winner every time! I'll have to keep this in mind for future postings!

This is the kind of trouble I get myself into now that its 10 after 1am and I have 4hrs before I need to be awake for work. Coffee is obviously going to be key for tomorrow. For now, I'm watching the FSN replay of the Pirates game and wondering what would happen if Marc-Andre Fleury ever showed up at PNC Park while Freddy Sanchez was at bat... I think my universe would explode.

Detroit and Carolina Advance in Stanley Cup Playoffs, Will Work for Playoff Tickets.

Jonas Hiller is currently suiciding somewhere in Detroit while the Boston Bruins realize that outplaying a team doesn't necessarily mean they'll win.

Boston wanted it more but couldn't beat Cam Ward's octo-goalie skills. Honorable mention Tim Thomas equally had a nice showing but I'm pretty sure (even without knowing or looking up the stats) that Boston had way more shots on goal than Carolina did thus making Cam Ward's performance all that more impressive... at least to me.

And remember, I know nothing about hockey.

Anyway, I called Carolina... but I also called the Ducks. 2/4 for only paying attention since the Pens got rid of Michel Therrien isn't too bad.

Semis start on Sunday, May 17th with Red Wings/Hawks. Opening night for Pens vs Canes: Monday, May 18th. Times will be released as soon as NBC gives everyone the authorization to breathe in public.

The only reason I feel bad that the Bruins lost tonight:



This kid is probably crushed. :(

I'd also like to take this opportunity to positively THANK the powers-that-be for airing the Western Conference game between Detroit and Anaheim instead of the game that actually mattered between Carolina and Boston. News Flash: Pittsburgh is an Eastern Conference club, we'd be interested in wtf was going on in the East. Jerks.

In other news, I got my schedule from work today. I get to see all playoff games due to working the early shift which is great. Unfortunately, this cuts into my hot-as-balls boyfriend time since he's a PM supervisor. What also sucks is that I don't have a day off until next Thursday and even then--yeah, split days off.

I need a new line of work. God!

Course, I've also been saying that for about 5 years now... right after I say, "Checking in?"