Updatez: Vicki's, Boyfriend, US Hockey!

OK so, 2 days after I went and posted about Victoria's Secret's lame craftsmanship, they sent me an email for a PINK 2 for $40 deal. Baring in mind that I had JUST posted about how I was NEVER, EVER going to shop there again, I allowed the (Hot-as-Balls) Boyfriend to pile me in the car and take me to Victoria's Secret at Ross Park Mall.

I felt dirty just for walking in.

I received the expected welcome upon crossing the threshold, its like the greeter knew I had just bashed her and her store on the oh-so-serious internet. The associate glanced up, we made eye contact, she looked me up and down then went back to folding panties (truthfully, it served as a wake up call for me as I totally didn't realize I was such a hot fucking mess that panty-folding took priority over helping me. Although, I will say this: her waist may have been tinier than mine but uh... my hair, clothes and accessories were way better then her's. BOOYAH BITCH!).

Anyway, after wandering around the front of the store for 30 seconds waiting for her to greet me, I decided to risk interrupting her focused-folding to ask her about the email I got. She was very gracious by rolling her eyes and pointing at a wall on the other side of the room.

Feeling demeaned and hating myself for going back on my word, I maneuvered around nighties and panties and bras and women. By doing so, I spotted another rack with a sign:

Oh! Well honestly, this is exactly what I was looking for. They were prepackaged in sets of nude and black or nude and white. I picked up my 36D treasure and got the hell out of there...

OR SO I THOUGHT!!

It just so happened to cross my mind that I had positively fallen in love with VSPINK's scent of Warm & Cozy. Its everything that's good in the world. When I first bought the body spray in December though, Vicki's was out of stock on the lotion so I decided to pick up the lotion while I was there... and they were having a 2 for $20 deal so what the hell, I may as well pick up the "Twinkled PINK Warm & Cozy Shimmering Fragrance Rollerball" because I'm an asshole that loves glitter even though I'll be 29 in 7 days.

All in all, I walked out with a new definition of the word "Devil."

dev·il

[dev-uhl] –noun
1.Theology.
a.(sometimes initial capital letter) the supreme spirit of evil; Satan.
b. a subordinate evil spirit at enmity with God, and having power to afflict humans both with bodily disease and with spiritual corruption.
2. an atrociously wicked, cruel, or ill-tempered person.
3. a person who is very clever, energetic, reckless, or mischievous.
4. a person, usually one in unfortunate or pitiable circumstances: The poor devil kept losing jobs through no fault of his own.
5. any of various portable furnaces or braziers used in construction and foundry work.
6. the devil, (used as an emphatic expletive or mild oath to express disgust, anger, astonishment, negation, etc.): What the devil do you mean by that?
7. Victoria's Secret.

So... yes. That definition is in Websters. This is all true.

Anyway, I had a long talk with El Boyfrienderino last week.

God, he's so awesome!

Even when we disagree about things, its still not all that bad. I finally told him where I was coming from with the whole moving in thing and the house thing and the commitment thing and blah blah blah and I'll tell you... it felt really great!

I cried and all that but at the end of the day it felt really good to cohesively get out in the open what I'd been thinking for a few months. And at the end of the night, we agreed: we love each other and don't want to end our relationship.

BAM! Thats a great starting point if you ask me. :)

So, I spent 3 days with him at his house and I cooked and cleaned (well I tried to clean, he's so tidy that I didn't need to clean). We went out and enjoyed our Stay-cation together and stayed at home and watched the Olympics and talked shit about Marty Brodeur together. Then he texted me when he said he would and he even called me to say good night last night which I wasn't expecting at all.

These are all just reasons that my boyfriend is better than your boyfriend. WOO!

Speaking of Hockey and the Olympics and Marty Brodeur: did you SEE that US/Canada last night?! If you didn't, oh dear Reader, whatthefuck is the matter with you?!

Here's a picture of Marty:

Reports from Vancouver claim that Marty Brodeur's been seen sneaking into the McDonald's located at the Olympic Village late at night and filling cooler upon cooler of water bottles with vanilla milk shakes.

When questioned, Mike Babcock was quoted as saying, "Bruce Boudreau recommended we head to KFC before each game but McDonald's is a sponsor. We have to remember which side our bread is buttered on. Besides, Marty likes those little apple pies."

When asked about Brodeur's energy level and if alternate goalies Roberto Luongo or Marc-Andre Fleury would make an appearance Babcock looked blankly at reporters for a moment then said, "Oh! Fleury! Well... Marty's been doing great and we have no plans on putting Fleury in goal because he's too young. You know Fleury IS 4 years younger than Luongo at 25 and even though he's the top of his game right now, Marty has all that experience that a 37 year old brings to the table. And I mean, Luongo DOES play for the Canucks so we'll probably be using him instead."

See, Mike Babcock? It does sound stupid. Get over your Stanley Cup grudge and play Fleury! Its easy for an armchair coach like me to say that Flower wouldn't have allowed 2 goals on 6 shots but I'm thinking that he probably wouldn't have... Also, Ryan Miller's a decent goalie but he's not as great as your team made him look last night. Sid can score on him easily. Maybe he should get more than 15 minutes of ice time. JUST SAYIN'! Woop woop!

In conclusion: Go Team USA hockey. They've proven that they can play better together than the Canadian and Russian teams and deserve their bye night. I'm proud of them... but I still think John Tortorella is a tool.

PS: I JUST found out that Ray Shero had a hand in putting together Team USA Men's Hockey. Had I known this 2 months ago, I would have put money on the US winning gold in this tournament. Sorry, Sid... I love you guy but Daddy Shero has spoken.

Oh! I GOT My Starbucks VIA!!!

About a month ago, I'd never heard of Starbucks VIA. Ok, that's not true, I'd heard of it but I had no idea wtf it was. Like any internet junkie would say, "OMG GOOGLE SEARCH!"

Google linked me to a site called MyStarbucksIdea.com (I was learning all sorts of new things at this point). The thread I was directly linked to on the site instructed me to be 1 of the first 10 people to post "I need my Starbucks VIA" to get 20 free sticks in the mail.

Logic: Ok so I might not know what the hell it is but it says "FREE " & "STARBUCKS" in the same sentence. No brainer... duh I NEED it. Starbucks VIA could have been rat poison or a lobotomy or a sex change or a date with Marc-Andre Fleury for all I knew... good or bad, I HAD to have it.

So I clicked.

And I posted, "I need my Starbucks VIA!"

A week later, I got an email asking for contact info. Three weeks later: nothing! My initial high evaporated. I was sad & defeated.

UNTIL... ding dong. UPS Man at the door.

Oh! Why, thank you.

How do I use it? Oh, I use it while sitting in morning traffic on the Parkway East Inbound.

HELL YES I DO!!

A Hockey Night in Canada

Pens win 5-2 vs Leafs.

Speaking in basic terms here, if this game was a preview of anything that's going to happen at the ACC on 1/9/10, I can't EFFING WAIT.

Yeah, its THAT kind of anticipation.

Canada loves hockey. I love hockey. I also love Toronto. Toronto loves the Maple Leafs.

The Maple Leafs suck.

Tonight, the Leafs did display some of the winning strategies of the Philadelphia Flyers but Jay Rosehill failed to back it up with some of the talent that is only afforded to players like Dan Carcillo and Scottie Hartnell. Even the fight Rosehill got into with Mike Rupp was pretty lack luster.

Honestly, the Canadian kid wearing the Crosby home jersey that was smacking the glass as Rupp went to the box may have hit something harder than Rosehill hit Rupp.

Speaking of the Flyers, I was too busy watching the Stanley Cup Champions embarrass Toronto but from what I understand, Chieftain Mike Richards offered up some extraordinary leadership skills by captaining the boys in orange to blowing a 2-0 lead over the Anaheim Ducks and then losing in a shootout 3-2.

Post game, the referee ensured that Ducks player, Ryan Whitney, had all his fingers. Scottie Hartnell was quoted as saying he only has a taste for French-Canadian defensemen.

"Side of Poutine please"

At least Scottie's got Don Cherry on his side. See?

Too bad Don Cherry is a big wiener.

Side note: I may be shunned for admitting this but I'm in the market for a Ron Hextall vintage t shirt. Its just because that son of a bitch was the meanest thing to hit the ice and I love watching him beat Potvin's ass on YouTube:



Watching Hextall sprint down the ice never gets old.

There's also this awesome video of the Flyers vs the Habs.

Personally, I still think its bullshit that Roy got a 5min pengalty for leaving the crease. Like there wasn't 400 other things to call out there, they call the goalie who's minding his own business on the other side of the ice but WHOOPS, I left the crease.

Stupid.

PS, I'm also looking for a Gary Roberts Calgary Flames vintage t so if anyone out there in internet land is reading this and knows where I could find one: need link, thx!

In conclusion: Toronto is 0-4. The Flyers defeat tonight brings the Penguins to #1 in the Atlantic AND East. Pens fans get a few days off until the next game against the Ottawa Senators on 10/12 at 7:30pm.

PPS, Quick thanks to FSN for giving us a post game, locker room glimpse of a shirtless Marc-Andre Fleury speaking French to the Canadian journalists. Yummy!

Update:
Someone posted said post game interview with Fleury. Many thanks to @GhostWalker40 <3

Game 5: What a Bunch of Crap!

I just got home from the bar.

I don't have much to say other than I am completely and totally appalled by the officiating in Game 5 of the Stanley Cup Finals. Letting them play is one thing but only calling penalties against one of the two teams makes the game lop-sided.

Do all these rejoicing Red Wings fans realize that they had a Power Play for 22 minutes of the game? That's OVER 1 full period.

Sure, Fleury let goals by. Only 2 of them were his fault. He can't make his offense want to play and he certainly can't defend on his own against 22 minutes of short hand. FYI Detroit, he pulled himself. It wasn't Detroit beating him that won them the game. It was the officials mismanaging calls and the Penguins lack of ability to do anything with the puck. The Red Wings didn't win Game 5. The officials controlled the game with 11 of the 13 penalties going on the Penguins.

Before you start celebrating, Red Wings fans, realize that the Powers-That-Be will flip the table on you in Game 6 since both the NHL and NBC want this series to go to a Game 7 because they want the viewers to take an interest. The NHL wants the Penguins to win because it looks like an underdog story and Penguins merchandise is currently the fastest growing merchandise brand in the nation. The NHL wants those new buyers to watch so they can make more money with the networks and the networks want the viewers so they can make more money from sponsors.

This is a money game at work.

As for Marc-Andre Fleury, I love him. The score doesn't accurately reflect how he played. The shots on goal don't accurately reflect how he played.

By the way, how the FUCK does Chris Osgood get a Star when he did nothing all game???? "Hey, stand there." Big deal. They got a shut out, that doesn't mean he did well.

I'm sure Mighty #66 is having a fit right now... as well he should!

Fleury vs Freddy, What Now Pittsburgh!

I can't sleep.

Its 12:30 and I've been in bed for an hour and a half. Insomnia frustrates the hell out of me. At the very least, I can find comfort in the fact that I can pinpoint the cause of the stress that induces my bouts of insomnia.

Work.

Yep, you guessed it. That grease-spot of hate called the "Hotel" is completely at fault. Laying in bed, I find myself staring at the ceiling positively dreading the alarm clock turning over to 5am. I ask myself how much longer can I go on like this? There's no end in sight. I've been in this position before.

That's when I finally quit my cushy job at Bellagio.

Quitting that job is pretty much where this new chapter of my life started. I got fed up being miserable and decided to give myself not just a physical make-over but a life make-over too... like Cher in Clueless when she says, "this time I would make over my soul." Sometimes I look back at the chain of events that happened over the course of 1 year and I wonder where I'd be if I had just stayed at Bellagio.

Oh wait, I know the answer to that. I'd still be miserable. Gotcha!

So why am I staying at my present job? Cuz its the best hotel in the city and I'm worth working at the best hotel in the city... only they're not paying me enough while they work me too hard and don't show any appreciation whatsoever.

You could say that morale is not only in the garbage but that it was just picked up by Waste Management and toted down the street, plowing over traffic cones as it went.

I need a new perspective, I've needed one for about 6 weeks now. I was banking on my 3 days off to rejuvenate me and had high hopes that I'd be able to walk in that building tomorrow refreshed and with a better outlook. Yeah right. Not even the Pirates beating the Cubs tonight could possibly inspire me out of this bubble of despair.

Although, I will say this: Freddy Sanchez is one of the best looking athletes on any Pittsburgh sports team right now (with the possible exception of a certain goalie that I harbor a secret crush on but would never admit to in public though I'll be sporting mighty #29 tomorrow afternoon. Hizzah)!

Fleury... Freddy... Freddy... Fleury
It might be illegal for me to put them side-by-side like this but... yeah. I do what I want.

Hmm.. I might want to change that caption, it reminds me of David Letterman's Academy Awards Hosting fiasco between Uma Thurman and Oprah Winfrey. Although I do think that my Pittsburgh version is better. Its certainly better looking, I mean look at those smiles. God, what girl (or lets be real, what homosexual male) could resist? I think this might be the best entry I've ever written just because I took the time to find those 2 pictures, put them next to each other and upload them. God, winner every time! I'll have to keep this in mind for future postings!

This is the kind of trouble I get myself into now that its 10 after 1am and I have 4hrs before I need to be awake for work. Coffee is obviously going to be key for tomorrow. For now, I'm watching the FSN replay of the Pirates game and wondering what would happen if Marc-Andre Fleury ever showed up at PNC Park while Freddy Sanchez was at bat... I think my universe would explode.