I Am an Asshole and I'm Totally Comfortable With It

Legit: I am an asshole.

Things that I have no business laughing at crack me up. The Germans call it Schadenfreude but Americans call it Being a Bastard.

Preface: Listen, we all have our problems. I know I certainly have some big ones. The difference between you, dear Reader, and I is that I realize no one's really interested my problems... hell even I'm not that interested in my problems. They simply aren't worth the perverted, masochistic worship that so many people believe they are.

Thus, I choose to rise above them and allow them to figure themselves out. Because I've made this decision, people call me naive.

I call myself evolved.

The Nitty-Gritty: I have a great ability to assess a situation in less than 30 seconds and find comedic value in it. I'm probably cynical because of it but hey... such is life. Anyone that's spent any amount of time with me will tell you that I'm good for peanut gallery comments and 3rd party observations. Sometimes its good for advice, mostly it just puts a smile on my friends' faces.

That said, go ahead and judge me for judging you if you do something dumb.

Doesn't there have to be a time where you step off the CrazyMobile and say to the world, "Hey World, I'm taking back control of my life so fuck you!" Or is it better to make yourself miserable in a situation you don't want to be in?

My favorite version of Schadenfreude comes from you Nerds out there that crave drama so much that you complain about it while you invite it into your life. You broke up with a boyfriend that cheated on you, but you answer the phone every time he calls. You want her to quit texting you, but you text her back every time your phone chirps. You think they're an asshole but you can't wait to tell them.

Don't you have to shit or get off the pot at some point? Like isn't there a level of commitment required to not make yourself insane? Do you prefer to be miserable or is this just something to talk about during dinner when you're on your next date?

Cuz its SOOO hawt to complain about drama on a date.

In conclusion, dear Reader, I'm running out of popcorn so stop making me laugh. Start being brave enough to make the tough decisions in life which raise you up instead of bringing you down.