...and a Blue Phone... to beat you with

I fucking hate that commercial.

When Nationwide started its campaign with the Greatest Spokesman in the World, I thought wow... this might actually be really exciting. No joke, I was looking forward to some great writing because when The Spokesman was still chopping wood as a hermit it seemed like these commercials had a ton of potential.

Then Nationwide unleashes that piece of shit onto the world and suddenly Subway's 5 Dollar Foot Long commercial looks like it's a big budget deal and that Flo from Progressive really knows her stuff.

Even Ovechkin's commercials with Geico looked witty (see what I did there?)

So please, Nationwide, if you want me on your side you'll either get rid of your big blue-eyed, contracted monkey or rewrite this garbage. My generation deserves better.

PS: do you have a favorite commercial or one you positively loathe? Lemme know. Link it to me on Twitter or comment here on the blog. Note: If you use the eTrade Baby, you lose points because the eTrade Baby is too obviously full of awesome. "Milk-a-Whaaat?"