If you've been keeping up with me on Twitter the past few days, you're fully aware that I've been having some over the top drama with my bank.
Let me take you on a story.
So back in the day, I banked with Jerome Bettis' own S&T Bank. I moved to the North Side and very quickly realized that S&T was no longer the bank for me. I stuck it out for a little while and then started getting really mad that there were no branches, ATMs or money centers in the downtown area. In fact, with me living on the North Shore, the closest branch, ATM or money center was Shadyside.
Shadyside... that's a 30 minute drive for me.
I started to seriously consider my options.
Living in Pittsburgh, I've always known about PNC Bank. Who hasn't? Living on the North Side with PNC Park literally a mere 20 (ish) minute walk away, it's hard to miss. Late last month, I decided to bite the bullet and open a PNC account.
I waited for my (free) checks in the mail and then had my direct deposit set up through payroll at work.
Meanwhile, I had some drama with S&T. I (very stupidly) left my ATM card in the machine at the money center in Shadyside last week. When I called the call center, they told me it was going to be 14 to 20 BUSINESS days to replace the card.
I legit laughed in the operator's ear and told her to forget it, that I was planning on closing the account because it was too inconvenient to keep it open. It would serve no purpose and that PNC was more well equipped to suit my needs.
Remember that last part, the irony will hit you like a ton of bricks later.
The next day, my boyfriend and I made yet ANOTHER trek to the S&T in Shadyside only to discover they were closed on Saturdays (LOLOL!) so we hunted down the one even further away in Squirrel Hill. I withdrew my remaining funds and waited patiently for Friday to roll around for my direct deposit to go into my PNC account through payroll.
Only to wake up on Friday and realize, in a moment of sheer panic, that it hadn't.
Where was my money?? I called my manager. For some reason, our company opted to issue paper checks... "Ooooooooookay. I'll... be right down to pick that up." Which I did and then went to PNC Park to deposit the check.
This is where it gets really shifty.
I had some questions for the teller when I approached her window. I'm new to a PNC Performance account but I knew that I had to meet a quota for direct deposit per month. With this paper check being issued, I knew I wasn't going to make said quota so I asked what sort of fees I was looking at. My teller called the rep I originally opened the account with and they confirmed that I actually had 60 days to get my account settled and direct deposit set up so I wouldn't be looking at any fees right now.
Sweet!
I deposited my pay check, took $50 cash from it and walked out the door.
Up until this point I've spoken to 2 people.
My boyfriend and I decided to grab breakfast at Deluca's. On the way over to the Strip District, I attempted to use my PNC account to pay my Verizon bill. Using the app on my phone, I keyed in my card number and hit submit.
Declined.
...I must have missed a number fat fingering on the phone. I tried again.
Declined.
Ok, lets call Verizon and do it over the phone since I'm obviously too idiotic to punch the number in correctly.
I called *611 (from my Verizon wireless phone) and attempted to make the payment that way.
Declined.
Oookay... so I'm either a complete idiot or something is very wrong here. I started punching 000000000000000000 on my phone to get a rep (like you do). The rep at Verizon told me to use the automated system. I said, "yeah no... that's not going to work" only to be connected through anyway.
I had a brief flash of "Jennifer Mathieson, THIS is your life."
Luckily the rep I was on the phone with didn't hang up. They just wanted me to prove it wasn't working (I actually commend Verizon Wireless here for not trusting their customers. Customers are idiots. If a company expects their clients to not be morons, they're setting them up for failure). So my rep says, "Yeah, it's not working." Oh, ya think?? "Let me connect you to financial."
Financial then confirms, "I'm sorry Ms Mathieson, the card number you're providing isn't authorizing for the charge."
My heart sank. Where was my hard-earned money that I just handed over to PNC Bank? I WORK hard for that piddly little paycheck. I deserve to be able to use the money.
I guess PNC felt differently...
I dialed the number on the back of my bank card and entered in the correct numbers to get ahold of someone in the Telephone Banking center. This young lady crisply told me that my funds were not available because I had deposited a paper check.
????
"But... my bills. I have to pay my bills," I pleaded. "I deposited my pay check today so I could pay my bills. I need this money."
"I'm sorry, Ms. Mathieson. But your funds WILL be available tomorrow."
This is what I fucking get for trying to be god damn responsible. I seriously should have known better.
Oh and by the way: this is now 3 people I've talked to from PNC Bank.
Next day, I wake up and check my PNC app on my phone which thankfully was still working even though my payment was now late. To my serious chagrin (+1 for sweet word usage), I saw that my funds were not at all available. I definitely had a Balance that listed my entire deposit but my "Available Balance" was listed as a mere $100.
There's got to be something wrong, let me fire up my laptop and check there.
My laptop laughed at me while it told me, "LOL $100!!!"
KIMPOSSIBLE!!!!!!!!!
I went downstairs with my laptop, phone and bank card in tow. I grabbed a cereal bar (because you should never face adversity on an empty stomach) and sat down on the couch to dial the number on the back of the card again.
I got ahold of Online Banking this time. I figured they'd tell me if there was a delay in online transactions showing up on the online statement. Instead, I was told by a rather curt representative that "No, those funds won't be available until Monday."
Wha wha wha WHAAAT???!
"But the rep yesterday told me today... and no one at my branch said anything to me."
"Ms. Mathieson, the rep yesterday probably forgot that yesterday was Friday. Its ONE BUSINESS DAY and while we're open on Saturdays, this is not considered a business day."
"Well you're in the office conducting business, aren't you?"
"...yes."
"Doesn't your payroll post on Fridays?"
"Yes."
"Right. So! I know there's someone alive out there today that can fix this and considering my previous 3 conversations with 3 different individuals at PNC, I would like for that to happen, please." I may or may not have said please here.
"The only person that can help you is your branch manager, Ms. Mathieson."
"My branch is closed today."
Silence. Dead fucking silence so beautiful that even Jesus had to take a moment to listen in. "Well... uh. Well I could direct you to another location but that manager may not be able to help you."
"Then why would I waste the time to go there?"
"I don't know."
Cool story, Bro.
Update: 4th person I've spoken to.
I'm pretty sure I hung up at this point and in complete exasperation flung my phone into a pillow. I could feel my anger level rising with each passing second. I began to seethe. I picked up the phone and called them back. SOMEONE was going to fix this for me and I was going to MAKE them do it!
This time, I called the Call Center and spoke to someone named Jeremy.
I'm using Jeremy's name here because this was actually the first individual to show me any empathy, any amount of understanding and sincere desire to want to help me. This guy is a gem and PNC should be proud to call him an employee of their company.
That said, Jeremy had more bad news for me... BUT he said it in the most diplomatic way possible, by trying to slide it past me without me realizing. "Since its a new account, it's actually going to take 2 business days to process."
"So you can... wait wait wait... what did you just say? You said 2 days?"
"Yes, ma'am. Unfortunately, your funds are not going to be available for 2 business days due to the newness of your account." He may or may not have said "newness."
"So Jeremy, I'm sorry I didn't get your name, is it Jeremy? Jeremy, you're telling me that I went from my funds being available upon deposit yesterday to not being available until today... to not being available until Monday... and NOW you're telling me Tuesday?!!?"
Silence. Jesus was listening. "Yes, ma'am."
"Jeremy, can I speak to your supervisor, please?"
I was connected to a very nice girl named Jennifer whose name I remember because it happens to be mine. Jennifer spared no time in telling me quite matter of factly that my funds would be available on Tuesday at Midnight and that the $100 currently available in my account was provided as a courtesy.
"A COURTESY??! Ok first of all, it's my own money that you're granting and denying me access to, I wouldn't call that a courtesy. Secondly, Jennifer! I have $400 worth of bills to pay and you want me to do it with $100? You're going to have to help me with the math on that one, I was a Liberal Arts major." Sometimes I wish being a complete smart ass paid the bills.
The conversation took a turn for the worse and then for the better. I sincerely felt pretty much passed around and like no one was taking ownership of this discrepancy, EXCEPT Jeremy. So, since I was talking to his supervisor, I decided to tell her.
"You mean Kevin?" she answered.
"........Yes. I mean Kevin."
Way to take the wind out of my sails as I was trying to compliment your associate.
Keeping score? Jennifer was the 5th person I spoke to.
Eventually Jennifer was able to convince me that my branch manager would be able to wave a magical banker's wand and fix all of this for me on Monday. Swell, do you have a direct dial for him because I'd like to leave him a voice mail now while I'm still fired up.
I told him the entire sordid tale in a 7 minute voice mail message.
Nothing happened on Sunday. I got drunk. That was that.
So I woke up this morning. I went to work and at around 9:30 this morning, I missed a phone call from my branch manager. I got his voice mail asking me to call him which I did on my break at noon. I was told that he wasn't available but my sales rep could help me.
I was told that this would all be sorted out for me today. They were working on it and would call me back. "Sounds good," I said. "If you're able to get it taken care of for me between now and 3pm, give me a phone call and let me know. If not, I'll stop in to see you after I get off work at 3pm."
No one wanted me to go to that branch after 3pm today. No one!
But... I didn't get a phone call so at 3:15pm today, I checked into PNC Park on Foursquare.
I approached the teller and asked for the branch manager by name. "Oh! Uh, hmm." She looked to the teller on her right. "Was he supposed to be coming back today?"
The second teller, the girl I actually deposited my check with the other day, smiled at me. "Did you have an appointment to see him?"
"Oh yes! Trust me, he's been expecting me all day."
"Oh, are you... Jennifer?"
"Jennifer Mathieson? Yes, that's me. And yes, he's been expecting me but you're telling me he's not here now?" In my head, I began writing this blog post in all capital letters.
"Let me give him a call very quickly for you."
We were interrupted by my Sales Rep who said that the Branch Manager wasn't there but he'd been trying to assist me in his absence.
"But... I got a call from him this morning?"
"Yes he was in this morning."
"But he's not here now?"
"No, he's not here now but he did get your voice mail this morning and then he and I started trying to hash out a way to get you your money quicker than tomorrow."
My Sales Rep took me through the ins and outs of what was really going on behind the scenes so at least I understood exactly what was going on. He took complete responsibility for the miscommunication since he had opened my account. He told me flat out, "I should have told you how this worked. The teller should have told you that your funds wouldn't be available immediately and should have given you options."
Welp, it's sort of hard to argue with someone taking ownership of the problem even if its 4 days later.
And then... he said it, "I'm so sorry this happened to you."
6th person, 7th conversation and I FINALLY get an apology. Bravo, sir. Well done indeed. When I told him this, he looked genuinely appalled. He offered some very nice gestures in the form of service recovery and tried to get in touch with the Branch Manager.
He couldn't get a hold of him. So, I tried calling him (cause I'm cool like that). I left a voice mail advising him of his own email stating "If you call me, we can get you accommodated today." I told my Sales Rep, "so he called and asked me to call him and then left for the day? Did you talk to him after we spoke on the phone because I got this email from him at 2pm telling me again to call him. So he called, I returned it... did he leave before I called back and didn't tell you how to fix this for me yet promised he could?" My blood pressure was rising again.
My Sales Rep told me that he was actually not the branch manager at this branch. He was a different branch's manager who was popping in to help out because the branch was actually between managers at the moment.
Things were starting to click here.
Eventually, I left feeling defeated. My Sales Rep had offered me both an apology and compensation for my trouble. I didn't really have a leg left to stand on since, after his explanations, it was simply impossible for them to release my funds. He assured me that when the Acting Branch Manager called back, he'd tell him all about our conversation and he would most likely call me too.
I didn't say it but I wasn't about to hold my breath.
You'd think this is where it ends, eh? No no no. There's so much more!!!!
The boyfriend and I had just gotten down to McKnight Road when my still-functioning cell rang. I knew the number and answered, "Good afternoon, this is Jennifer." It never hurts to sound self important.
The Branch Manager explained everything that was going on and told me if I could get to a branch, ANY branch, he could help me out and get me my money there just by talking to their Branch Manager.
I immediately went to the McIntyre Square branch and, as instructed, asked for their manager. And was somehow NOT surprised that he wasn't expecting me nor had any idea why I was asking to talk to him.
He asked me to tell him the whole story.
So I did. :D
By the time I was done, the Acting Branch Manager was calling to speak to him to give him the bank's point of view. After attempting to get them to lift the hold on the authorization so I could use my bank card over the phone to pay my Verizon bill plus the others that needed paid, they convinced me to settle for cash. I reluctantly agreed knowing that Verizon was just down the street and I could at least get my phone bill paid today before they closed... I took consolation in the fact that I wanted to look into upgrades anyway.
So... at 5pm this evening, I was FINALLY able to put all of this behind me. I walked out of the PNC Bank in McIntyre Square with my account having been forced overdraft but was assured that I would not suffer any overdraft fees and the remaining amount of my check would be available tonight at Midnight.
I felt victorious. I felt like Jen the Conquerer. I felt like Laura Croft and the bank vault and computer system was my tomb to raid. I sent the following tweet from the Winner's Circle:
http://twitter.com/omgitsjen/status/72776927886315520
Suck it!
