Jon Stewart & Stephen Colbert - I'm More American Than You

Yeah, I was there.

Rally to Restore Sanity and/or Fear
Jon and Stephen - "I'm More American Than You"
www.comedycentral.com
Rally to Restore Sainty and/or Fear The Daily Show The Colbert Report

Blogging from Washington, DC and the #rally4sanity

Me and the Boyfriend on the DC Metro

...Well almost.

I'm about a 30 minute metro ride north of DC in a suburb called Laurel, MD.  Everyone I know from this area is intent on pointing out that my hotel is in the ghetto.

Listen broskies, ghetto it may be but you can't beat a $35 per night room during Jon Stewart's Rally to Restore Sanity and Stephen Colbert's March to Keep Fear Alive.

Which is exactly why I'm here.

I've never been to DC before and the Boyfriend hadn't been since he was a kid.  Coming in a day early was exactly what we needed to take in a bit of sight-seeing and the Pens game at a bar on Pennsylvania Ave called The Pour House.

Too bad the Pens can't generate enough of an offense to actually win a game... if I'm starting to sound cynical about my beloved hockey team, its because I am.  The players on the ice are better than how they're playing and stupid Yinzers keep blaming Fleury... but I digress.

We had a perfect autumn day to explore.  As soon as we got into Laurel, we got cleaned up and headed out.  The DC Metro proved to be quite disorienting to us since neither of us are used to public transit (it also should be mentioned here that our experience with Toronto's TTC was far superior to that of the DC Metro BUT... Metro covers a lot more area and so is quite sufficient for it's purpose.  Canadians are just way friendlier).

Once in DC proper, the Boyfriend and I hit Capitol Hill like a sledge hammer.  It's absolutely breathtaking to actually see in real life these same buildings you always see on MSNBC, CNN and FOX News.  The Capitol Building is positively beautiful.  The grounds in DC are well kept and clean... it's almost as though I really don't mind that my taxes are keeping them so pretty.

Stewart and Colbert have their stage set up at the rear side of the National Mall, right in front of The Capitol Building.  To say its a huge area is to say that grass is green.  While we were checking it out, we overheard a couple other attendees jibber-jabbering about Glenn Beck's rally.

"Well, wait... how many did he have show up?" asked one.

The other replied, "I think about 87,000."

Stewart and Colbert are expecting over 200,000.

If nothing else, this just says to me that normal people are just sick and tired of alarmists.  I can't wait to hear what these speakers are going to say tomorrow between noon and 3pm.  Good gravy!

I had plans to dress up like a devil and carry a sign that said, "HELLO! MY NAME IS GLENN BECK." but due to weather restrictions (IE its going to be 60 degrees so way too cold for this little lady to show up scantily clad) I've ditched that idea and I'll be dressed normally and carrying a sign that reads, "OMG I'M TOTES SCARED :("

Keep fear alive, yo.  Regardless of his political views, Beck's gotta eat too and he does one hell of a job scaring the shit out of my parents.

The (surprisingly few) pictures I took are already up on my Facebook.  More to come tomorrow.  The amount of creativity I'm bound to witness tomorrow is simply incomprehensiblE at the moment.

Woe is Me, No Seriously... WARNING: Title Says it All

The past few weeks have not been the easiest for me.

That's really all I have to say about that.  

Actually, who am I kidding... would I be typing these words if that was really all I had to say about that?

I've felt pretty depleted.  I've felt like a crappy friend, girlfriend, daughter and employee.  And what's worse is that I know I'm putting this all on myself.  

I put pressure on myself to live up to unattainable standards.  While I know I'm "only human" its not a fact I like to admit or even really acknowledge.  I'm confident that if anyone (that mattered) had a problem with me, they'd come out and say it but I manage to talk myself into insecurity and over-sensitivity.

When someone tells me they don't want t talk about it, I've started taking it personally.  When a guest at work encounters a problem, I've started taking it personally.  When I ask my boyfriend if he's upset or angry with me and he says no, I think he's avoiding it.  

Who is this person that's taken over my psyche?  

I haven't been sleeping well, I've been overly stressed.  I feel like crying all the time.  I'm sad.  I'm anxious.  I'm upset.  I crave cigarettes.  I want more attention now than ever before but I fret that any I receive is based on Pity.  I need reassurance.  

I don't want to need it.

This is my life... How did I get here?  I was fine just a few weeks ago.  Can I please have my sanity back?

For now, I'm going to go smoke and then see if I can convince my boyfriend to cuddle with me even if I stink like cigarettes.

Boyfriend Post: Aww Babe!!!

A few days ago, I had a conversation with my best girlfriend that included me talking about what a man's man my boyfriend is, he's a handy Mr. Fix-It that doesn't buy into all that romance crap.

He shows his love for me in different ways, like waking up at 6am to drive me to work when he's got the day off or taking me out for sushi when he hates it or going to the theatre to see A Midsummer Night's Dream when he has no idea what the hell brand of English Shakespeare was speaking.

He does stuff like this because he loves me.  There's never a doubt in my mind how much my boyfriend loves me.

Keep this in mind while I take you on a story:

So today, he got out of school early and was able to pick me up after work instead of meeting at The Sharp Edge downtown to watch the afternoon Pens game.  It was a surprise and I was already in the process of changing out of my uniform when I got his textr so he was a little taken aback when I got into the car in jeans.

He seemed upset but true to man's man form, he didn't want to talk about it.  I didn't press the issue much although I could tell he was mad.  I figured he'd tell me he was ready and he did.  Then, just before puck drop, he told me he was going to get a hair cut and would be back later.

Ok what the hell?

So... I sat down to watch the game... alone... at home.  Halfway through the 2nd Period, I started wondering where he was and if he was ever coming home.

I'm not going to lie, I was starting to get annoyed.

As if on cue, the front door opened.  He came into the living room and handed me:

A Bouquet of Pink Roses

I was shocked.  My boyfriend isn't the type of guy to bring flowers home for me!  I almost didn't know what to say.  "Babe!  Why?" I managed to squeak out.  "You didn't have to do this..."

"I know," he said.  "I just wanted to say I'm sorry for earlier and... Babe, I love you so much and sometimes I forget.  I just don't want you to."

I was all kinds of "OMG"

My boyfriend totes kicks ass.

The Excitement (aka Drama) Never Ends Subtitled: THE INTERNET IS SERIOUS BUSINESS

So here's some inside info on me.  

I'm 29, I was married for 7 years but I've been divorced for just over 2.  My ex likes to keep tabs on me through this blog.  Why? I couldn't tell you but he does.  I've known this since I started the blog, it doesn't bother me.  I write for myself.  If someone wants to read it, God bless them.  No one reads this blog and nothing I don't want anyone to know goes on this website anyway.

LOL

The Ex Husband tries once ever two or three months to reach out to me.  Generally, I ignore it but when I received a Facebook "poke" from him a couple of weeks ago, it gave me pause.

My Ex was the type of guy that as soon as we decided to split, the first thing he did was unfriend me on Facebook.  Facebook is SERIOUS business to this guy so the fact that he's moved out of email and AIM (which I don't use anymore) and has now attempted to contact me on Facebook had me lifting an eyebrow.  

My immediate reaction was to delete the email on my Moto Droid and go about my business.  In my mind, that settled the issue.  Yesterday, I actually logged onto Facebook for the first time in weeks instead of using the mobile site or the Droid app.

The "poke" was still sitting there.

I tempted fate.  Fuck it, what's the worst that could happen?  Maybe an hour later, this showed up in my inbox:

...what even???

LOL

So Piers, here it is.  I know you read my blog.  Trust me, I know.  I know that if I blogged that I'd been abducted by aliens from outer space that you'd email me to find out which planet they took me to.  I appreciate your attempts at passive aggression but don't really care.  If you want to keep on reading to feel like you can keep tabs on me, knock yourself out.

If you REALLY want to get eStalky, I'm on FourSquare too.  ZOMG... you can TRACK MY EVERY MOVE...

Well, that is as long as FourSquare hurries up and gets it's shit together.  Jesus Christ, I mean is it just me or does this new app suck even more than before?  I'm not even getting points now, wtf?

Oh and you can track my every THOUGHT on Twitter.  Its @omgitsjen I have it listed to the right as well.

I happen to like the new Twitter but it's pretty obvious that I'm the only one in Pittsburgh that does.

ANYWAY: the point is if you really find me that interesting, the information's out there.  Be creepy.  You're not the only one.

My Date with Destiny

If you know me, you know I love Harry Potter.  But as much as I adore JK Rowling, she's not my favorite author.

That title is held by Paulo Coelho.

Do yourself a favor and read The Alchemist.

Anyway, I follow him on Twitter (duh, I'm an addict) and he tweeted the GREATEST 10 second story today: http://paulocoelhoblog.com/2010/10/03/10-sec-read-destiny-eng-port-espa/

Deciding on the Destinies of Others

Malba Tahan tells the story of a man who met an angel in the desert and gave him water.

“I am the angel of death and I came to get you,” said the angel. “But as you were kind, I will lend you the Book of Destiny for five minutes; you may change what you want.”

The angel gave the man the book. As he was leafing through its pages, the man began reading about the lives of his neighbors. And he got discontented,

“These people don’t deserve such nice things,” he said. With the pen in hand, he began worsening the lives of each one.  Finally, he reached the page of his destiny. He saw his tragic end, but as he prepared to change it, the book disappeared. Five minutes had already passed.

And right there, the angel took the man’s soul.

I loved this and so immediately retweeted it and started texting it to my friends.  Unfortunately, no one seemed to "get it" quite like I did.  The Boyfriend in fact asked why I had sent it to him as though there were some ulterior motive.

I guess it's pretty open to interpretation but for me, this story is all about happiness and what each of us do to make us happy.

The man in this story was immediately gratified by making people around him miserable and knowing that he had a negative impact on the people who's destinies he'd changed.  He focused on that instead of extending his own life or making his existence better.  And it was his natural reaction, his first instinct to look at those around him and see if he agreed with their destinies.

Some have argued that while they wouldn't impact their neighbor's lives negatively, they would look for their friends and attempt to impact their lives positively.

I guess I can sort of understand that but if the Angel of Death looks me dead in the eye and says "Listen, it's time for you to go.  But since you're such a pal, I'm going to give you the option to start over.  Here you go."  Uh... sorry best friends, I'm going to take that.

I might write in that I could get 10 minutes instead of 5 with the Book of Destiny and then go back and help you out, but the first 8 minutes are going to be dedicated to me making sure I can spell "independently wealthy" correctly and give myself enough time on Earth to enjoy it.

I don't feel like this makes me a jerk at all.  In fact I think it shows just how much I've grown as a person.  I used to be all about putting my needs behind others and since my divorce, it's been the exact opposite.

And look at what a difference few years make!

When I started dedicating my time more to me, I started feeling happier.  I realized that I had to be the one to "have my back" because no one else would.  And just like that... things got better for me: friends, an awesome boyfriend, a great job and a kick ass little puppy.

I've been accused of giving too much.  I agree, I do.  I just started giving to myself as much as I give to others.  I've found it to be a pretty sweet balance.

Age is a Number, Maturity is Overrated... then why the hell am I so fixated on both?

So... I've definitely gotten old.

If I get any more mature, I'll be a finely aged cheese and wine combination. I used to judge people bases on their clothing choices. Now, I do that and judge them for acting like idiots.

A poorly dressed moron, dude what could be worse? Honestly?

It just makes someone look totally clueless.

Anyway: my bff and I haven't really been speaking lately. That is to say not at all. Without getting into the gorey details, I had a decision to make: it was his birthday yesterday, should I show up at his party? I'm somewhat pleased to say that I did make an appearence at Rivertown North Shore with a generous friend there to hold my hand through it (and escort me to the bar before so I could pregame and warm up).

My decision really came down to if I'd be able to wake up this morning without feeling guilty for not showing up.

I couldn't. So I drank Jager at SoHo until it felt warm outside then walked to the DelMonte building.

On a Monday night, things weren't exactly jumping on the North Shore. It left me with lackluster options for people watching at the bar. What I saw was enough to make me question human nature in situations that include alcohol.

Girls being loud, girls being obnoxious, girls being stupid and guys just being drawn to it. Congratulations, honey, you played a song on the Juke. Does it really warrant a hug and highfive? Oh you ordered another beer, do you HAVE to announce it to the few people that are here? By the way, the hair and outfit aren't working for you at all.

Sure it may make me an asshole. It may make me a bitch. Granted, I wasn't on the 9s last night myself but I wasn't trying to garner attention.

Towards the end of the night, I drunkenly shook my head. "I Mean honestly, she doesn't have ANYTHING going for her. At all!" I said.

I was glad when my friend agreed. It made me feel much less insane and much less old. She's 22. If a 22 year old can see problems in someone's behavior, then a 29 year old isn't crazy.

I was hoping for a chance to talk to my BFF last night but it was sort of not happening. He was perma-hovering at the other end of the table and it would have been too awkward to seperate myself from my friend to try and include myself in his conversation. Besides, it was his birthday, why be serious? I said fuck it and went out for a cigarette.

I'll think of something else.

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Midnight Musings: Afterthought

What a Beautiful Catastrophe

Random Reason I'm Cool:

In 5th Grade, Mrs. McCabe went around the class and asked us all what we wanted to be when we grew up.  Most kids said your typical Doctor, Lawyer, Fireman, Police Officer, etc.  Then she got to me, "Jennifer, what do you want to be when you grow up?"

"A Stand Up Comic."

Even in elementary school, I kicked ass and took names.  Mrs. McCabe didn't have anything else to say so just moved on to the next kid.

I'm watching Louie CK's show on FX as we speak and I'm reminded of exactly why I never got into comedy... hecklers.

People, especially drunks, are assholes.  Someone trying to call me out when I couldn't even understand what the hell they're saying would piss me off beyond any real idea of being pissed off.  I can barely handle it in Hospitality, let me loose on an open mic and I'd really lose my sense of humor and tell people what's up...

But isn't comedy about keeping your sense of humor?

Ok wait... stop.  This is why I didn't actually and never will go into comedy.  Although, I still think I totally should have.

Midnight Musings: My Boyfriend's Awesome!!!

This is us.  I love us.  My Boyfriend is amazing.  Here's just a few more reasons why.

The Boyfriend and I went to see Let Me In tonight.  Pretty decent movie, to be honest.  I think in a text book sense, there was really nothing wrong with it at all: great casting, excellent script, good direction... it had all the elements and to the hilt.  I totally think you should see it over The Social Network.  Facebook sucks.

Anyway, there's this one part in Let Me In where Owen asks Abby to "go steady" which after the movie got my gears turning.  So, I turned to the Boyfriend and asked:

"Babe, how come you never asked me to go steady?" It was legitimate, I mean our entire relationship could be based on a lie.

Him: "Babe, you wanna go steady?"

Me: "Actually, if memory serves, I think it was me having that conversation with you.  Do you remember that?"

Him: "Wait what?  No."

Me: "It was a couple of days after Valentine's Day 2009.  We were making out on your futon and I just sat up and looked down at you and I said, 'Hey do you think I have a boyfriend because I think I have a boyfriend.' And you said, 'Yeah, I think so.' So that's how we got to be a couple.  You don't remember that, Babe?"

Him: "I remember making out on my futon... I remember making out on my futon a couple of times actually."

....Oh Babe!!!

I also found out tonight that I totally stole him from another girl.  It's not like I was a home wrecker or anything, she was interested and wanted to hang out on Valentine's Day but he and I already had plans.  He politely told her that he wasn't available so she brought coffee to him at work.  When she saw that he wasn't there, she got mad then took the cup of coffee and chucked it at the curb.

Meanwhile I was banging him back at his apartment.

She worked at Crazy Mocha.

I don't know man, there's just something so awesome about knowing that I pulled him from the clutches of some other broad.  It might make me skanky or a bitch but 2 years later, obviously I had something super AMAZING going on where she totally lacked.

I own.

Anyway, after the movie tonight I noticed that my wristlet was missing out of my purse, I use it as a wallet so I freaked the fuck out at Lowe's AMC in Waterfront.  I'm talking tears any everything.  My poor Boyfriend, I swear to God, is the most patient person in the world.  How he managed to calm me down without busting out laughing is beyond me but that's why he's awesome.

Also, I'm a great writer.  Christ.

Anyway, after freaking the hell out for about 30 minutes and calling the restaurant we ate at earlier tonight, we got home and I found it on a shelf.

AT LEAST I FOUND IT, OK???

Yesterday's Girl is Tomorrow's Woman

OMG TIME IS SPIRALING OUT OF CONTROL

It occurred to me today that this time last year I made a plan for myself.

Well sort of...

I wanted to be busier or more specifically, I wanted to have more on my plate.  My goal was to get a planner/organizer/agenda and actually have a decent use for it (that didn't include using the address book for pointless bullshit).

Welp, today I fulfilled that goal.  I've become so nearly overwhelmed in my work and personal life that $45 on a personal organizer seemed like such a deal.  With random projects to be done at work, scheduling work, yoga and now hockey season, dealing with puppy time, making sure I hang out with my awesome boyfriend and forgetting to do laundry or order checks I'm left wondering...

When the hell did I become a grown up???

Not that I'm not grateful for where I am and how I got here but seriously, it's like I fell asleep one night 5 years ago in Las Vegas and woke up as a 30 something in Pittsburgh.

You know, I've heard on The Today Show about "today's woman" and how busy she is, how stressful it can be for her to try and balance work and kids and husband and personal time.  I never thought I'd find myself hip deep in it.  Of course I don't have the kids but I do have a puppy.  I don't have a husband but I've got the Boyfriend.  I've got work but balancing personal life with it has proven to be outstandingly difficult and has since resulted in more than one migraine and stomach problem.

I've finally admitted that I may be under more stress than I realize.

So I guess this is a lesson in be careful of what you wish for.  I definitely got it in this case.

Figures I'd get stress instead of a billion dollars!