You Kids and Your New Fangled Internet and Your Crazy Hockey Opinions

WARNING: This is a useless blog entry. Its just some observations I've had watching fan reaction to the Russia/Canada game earlier tonight on Twitter.

1) People need to calm the fuck down.

Its a game, yo. Have fun! Its fun to talk shit (Hi Marty Brodeur), I'm the first to tell you that. But seriously, when you start taking the internet seriously, you're gonna get hurt. It might be a low-flying air plane or a bus while you cross the street or a sock... something out there is gonna get you so take an umbrella whenever you go outside.

2) Don't take it personally when someone wishes a player to get hurt.

Ok look. This is an extremely touchy subject. No one actually wants to see someone get hurt. If we're all logical adults about it, we know that to be fact. The problem with that though is that one of the biggest draws of any sport is the passion and emotion that it can stir up in people. It makes us feel alive. That being said, not everyone has the ability to correctly demonstrate emotion.

Trying to lecture to a bloodthirsty fan that wants to break Alexander Ovechkin's leg that he's wrong in calling for an injury is just going to start a fight and thus draw up new emotions. So now, said bloodthirsty fan no longer wants to break Alexander Ovechkin's leg. He wants to break your leg.

It also sort of makes you sound like a goody-two-shoes. Get excited about something for once in your life instead of hiding behind such a prim and proper way of doing things.

3) Don't be offended when someone has a different opinion.

I think we learned this on the "All I Really Need to Know, I Learned in Kindergarten" poster. I hate Ovechkin fans. Ovechkin fans hate Crosby fans. Never the twain shall meet. I don't try to drill sense into them because its fruitless. They're Ovechkin fans. They're not the brightest crayons in the box and its a waste of my time. I'm not offended by their ignorance, I pity it. They'd have way more fun being a Crosby fan with "Ovechkin's Stanley Cup" on his mantle.

4) If you're going to comment on my explanation of #3, refer to #1

5) Don't use generalities

If you have something to say, say it. And say it directly to the person you intend it for. If you don't, you look like a passive-aggressive bitch that has a lot to say but is too afraid to really say it. Man up and do it.

6) Refrain from insulting people on the internet.

If you're going to ignore #6, insult people creatively. Calling someone fat shows such a lack of depth, all you're doing is embarrassing yourself to the real shit talkers with a sense of humor. Telling someone they're ugly isn't hurtful, it just makes us realize that you're not worth our time. Telling someone to get a life or a job makes us think you're deflecting your own inadequacies of living in your parents basement.

Now, baring all this in mind, regarding the game last night:

Ovechkin sucks and I laughed when he tried to catch that puck towards the end of the 3rd period. He faked an injury (a la Ben Roethlisberger) and went to take a seat on the bench. His trainer handed him an ice pack to help his hand which he used briefly but... Well, I guess the ice is just too cold for Alexander Ovechkin because he didn't want to hold the bag nor did he want to skate.

All THAT said, I find it ironic that Mr Russian Playmaker has taken to evaporating into thin air whenever his team is on the losing end of important games... and now that the entire world is on to his deliberate dirty hits, he can't take the heat and wants to get out of the way.

Also, the look on Alexander Semin's face when he hit the ice and looked up at Boyle towering over him was one of the best moments of these Olympic games. It would probably do Semin some good to realize that he's not going to be Ovechkin's bitch for much longer in Washington and they should start dividing up their possessions and arranging pet visitation rights.

On the other hand, Canada needs to pick up their own slack. Luongo's mediocre at best and Brodeur's playing PANGYA: Fantasy Golf on a PSP from the bench thanks to Mike Babcock's outstanding team management skills.

I say put Fleury in.

Of course I do, I'm a Pens fan. But, as a Pens fan, I'm used to watching Fleury play regularly and from watching Fleury play regularly, I know that he's a playoff goalie. This is a play off situation and Fleury's the guy that comes up big when it counts. He's not the guy that lets a puck go by with .02 left in the 3rd period that lets the opponent continue on in the Stanley Cup Playoffs while he goes home for the summer.

He also doesn't have stupid fans that scream, "LUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!" whenever he touches the puck so its clearly a win/win. Canada gets to win if Babcock plays Fleury and the rest of the world isn't annoyed while they do it.

In conclusion: Hey Washington, Crosby just retired your precious Ovechkin just like he did last May. How's it feel?

Updatez: Vicki's, Boyfriend, US Hockey!

OK so, 2 days after I went and posted about Victoria's Secret's lame craftsmanship, they sent me an email for a PINK 2 for $40 deal. Baring in mind that I had JUST posted about how I was NEVER, EVER going to shop there again, I allowed the (Hot-as-Balls) Boyfriend to pile me in the car and take me to Victoria's Secret at Ross Park Mall.

I felt dirty just for walking in.

I received the expected welcome upon crossing the threshold, its like the greeter knew I had just bashed her and her store on the oh-so-serious internet. The associate glanced up, we made eye contact, she looked me up and down then went back to folding panties (truthfully, it served as a wake up call for me as I totally didn't realize I was such a hot fucking mess that panty-folding took priority over helping me. Although, I will say this: her waist may have been tinier than mine but uh... my hair, clothes and accessories were way better then her's. BOOYAH BITCH!).

Anyway, after wandering around the front of the store for 30 seconds waiting for her to greet me, I decided to risk interrupting her focused-folding to ask her about the email I got. She was very gracious by rolling her eyes and pointing at a wall on the other side of the room.

Feeling demeaned and hating myself for going back on my word, I maneuvered around nighties and panties and bras and women. By doing so, I spotted another rack with a sign:

Oh! Well honestly, this is exactly what I was looking for. They were prepackaged in sets of nude and black or nude and white. I picked up my 36D treasure and got the hell out of there...

OR SO I THOUGHT!!

It just so happened to cross my mind that I had positively fallen in love with VSPINK's scent of Warm & Cozy. Its everything that's good in the world. When I first bought the body spray in December though, Vicki's was out of stock on the lotion so I decided to pick up the lotion while I was there... and they were having a 2 for $20 deal so what the hell, I may as well pick up the "Twinkled PINK Warm & Cozy Shimmering Fragrance Rollerball" because I'm an asshole that loves glitter even though I'll be 29 in 7 days.

All in all, I walked out with a new definition of the word "Devil."

dev·il

[dev-uhl] –noun
1.Theology.
a.(sometimes initial capital letter) the supreme spirit of evil; Satan.
b. a subordinate evil spirit at enmity with God, and having power to afflict humans both with bodily disease and with spiritual corruption.
2. an atrociously wicked, cruel, or ill-tempered person.
3. a person who is very clever, energetic, reckless, or mischievous.
4. a person, usually one in unfortunate or pitiable circumstances: The poor devil kept losing jobs through no fault of his own.
5. any of various portable furnaces or braziers used in construction and foundry work.
6. the devil, (used as an emphatic expletive or mild oath to express disgust, anger, astonishment, negation, etc.): What the devil do you mean by that?
7. Victoria's Secret.

So... yes. That definition is in Websters. This is all true.

Anyway, I had a long talk with El Boyfrienderino last week.

God, he's so awesome!

Even when we disagree about things, its still not all that bad. I finally told him where I was coming from with the whole moving in thing and the house thing and the commitment thing and blah blah blah and I'll tell you... it felt really great!

I cried and all that but at the end of the day it felt really good to cohesively get out in the open what I'd been thinking for a few months. And at the end of the night, we agreed: we love each other and don't want to end our relationship.

BAM! Thats a great starting point if you ask me. :)

So, I spent 3 days with him at his house and I cooked and cleaned (well I tried to clean, he's so tidy that I didn't need to clean). We went out and enjoyed our Stay-cation together and stayed at home and watched the Olympics and talked shit about Marty Brodeur together. Then he texted me when he said he would and he even called me to say good night last night which I wasn't expecting at all.

These are all just reasons that my boyfriend is better than your boyfriend. WOO!

Speaking of Hockey and the Olympics and Marty Brodeur: did you SEE that US/Canada last night?! If you didn't, oh dear Reader, whatthefuck is the matter with you?!

Here's a picture of Marty:

Reports from Vancouver claim that Marty Brodeur's been seen sneaking into the McDonald's located at the Olympic Village late at night and filling cooler upon cooler of water bottles with vanilla milk shakes.

When questioned, Mike Babcock was quoted as saying, "Bruce Boudreau recommended we head to KFC before each game but McDonald's is a sponsor. We have to remember which side our bread is buttered on. Besides, Marty likes those little apple pies."

When asked about Brodeur's energy level and if alternate goalies Roberto Luongo or Marc-Andre Fleury would make an appearance Babcock looked blankly at reporters for a moment then said, "Oh! Fleury! Well... Marty's been doing great and we have no plans on putting Fleury in goal because he's too young. You know Fleury IS 4 years younger than Luongo at 25 and even though he's the top of his game right now, Marty has all that experience that a 37 year old brings to the table. And I mean, Luongo DOES play for the Canucks so we'll probably be using him instead."

See, Mike Babcock? It does sound stupid. Get over your Stanley Cup grudge and play Fleury! Its easy for an armchair coach like me to say that Flower wouldn't have allowed 2 goals on 6 shots but I'm thinking that he probably wouldn't have... Also, Ryan Miller's a decent goalie but he's not as great as your team made him look last night. Sid can score on him easily. Maybe he should get more than 15 minutes of ice time. JUST SAYIN'! Woop woop!

In conclusion: Go Team USA hockey. They've proven that they can play better together than the Canadian and Russian teams and deserve their bye night. I'm proud of them... but I still think John Tortorella is a tool.

PS: I JUST found out that Ray Shero had a hand in putting together Team USA Men's Hockey. Had I known this 2 months ago, I would have put money on the US winning gold in this tournament. Sorry, Sid... I love you guy but Daddy Shero has spoken.

Victoria's Secret Revealed as Poor Craftsmanship

I love shopping at Victoria's Secret, just the smell of the store is enough to induce salivating. Lately though, that special feeling I get from walking out with a $50 bra has been ruined 2 months later by said $50 bra completely falling apart.

So this blog entry is a letter to Victoria's Secret, Incorporated.

Dear Vicki's,

Listen, I don't know if you folks have been paying attention but this country (indeed this world) has been dealing with a financial crisis for a couple of years now. That said, who are you to turn out a bad product and market it for such a high price when your regular customers expect the quality that you've always provided?

Let me provide some examples of your poor attention to detail:

I'd like to point out that all of these bras are less than 3 months old.

The only one that's been able to keep up any shape is the adjustable purple one (the last one pictured) which, though marked as a 36D fits like a 34C (I purchased it without trying it on due to the fact that no associate at the store would look me in the eye, approach me or acknowledge me in any way). It's also a huge pain to adjust. I couldn't wear the bra for nearly 3 weeks because the "adjustable" straps got stuck in the center anchors pictured above and it wasn't until I threatened it with a seam ripper that the bra finally gave up and allowed me to remove the strap from the anchor.

This isn't the sort of positive experience I've had with Victoria's Secret in the past and due to the fact that $150 worth of bras are malfunctioning on me, I'm anticipating a Toyota like trend growing with their company. Had it just been one bra in the history of my purchases then obviously I'd consider it as an oversight in production... but 3? Two of which were purchased at the same time?

Sorry, that's a little too much coincidence even for me.

In conclusion, Kohl's, WalMart, Macy's and JCPenny has my booby's business now... unless I need something really pretty for my boyfriend's birthday in which case, I'm still sure I can find something really nice at Macy's.

Sincerely,

Penny-Pinching in Pittsburgh

PS

YEAH BITCHES!

Oh I'm Doin' It!

I was talking to my friend Robby last night who reminded me of a very important fact:

I'm fuckin' great!

Somewhere along this crazy journey called life, I lost sight of that. I realize now that I've been so wrapped up with the daily ho-hums that I actually allowed myself to get distracted from my ultimate goal: the betterment of Me!

This is like a re-revolution for me, a new empowerment. I get to take back control of my life (again) in the form that I want to control it. Yeehaw.

Some people call it selfishness. I call it liberation. It's a re-prioritizing. While I care what my loved ones think and feel, its my world that's the most important to me.

So, all in all, I guess being selfish sort of does fall under my New Year's Resolution of "Make Better Choices." Putting myself ahead of everyone else just means that when I do something nice for people, its because I want to... not because I feel like I have to.

In the end, I think that's really what its all about.

Its Valentine's Day... and THIS is all I can think about??!

Ever wish you could unhear something you heard, that you could just rewind to the moment of your life where everything changed and just do your best to avoid that moment--or better yet, just delete it from existence all together?

For me, it was when my boyfriend harmlessly told me in no uncertain terms that he wasn't ready to live with me.

Its been about a month since he and I had this conversation and every time I think about it, it still rips my heart out. It makes me feel like I'm not good enough for him. It makes me feel that he's not sure of me, our relationship or of our future together. It makes me feel like maybe I was more than just a little emotionally overzealous.

Granted, I'm probably looking way too much into it.

But I mean, come on... its the natural progression of things. Boy meets girl. Boy likes girl. Boy dates girl for around a year. Boy ends up buying a house. If boy still likes girl, why shouldn't boy and girl move in together?

Right?

And it's not like he just said, "You know, I'm not really ready for this." No, if it was just that easy then I doubt I'd still be on the verge of tears about it all (well realistically, I'd still be bothered but I could at least maybe understand it a bit better). No, instead he told me, "I've just had bad past experiences and I promised myself that the next time I moved in with anyone, it would be because I was going to ask her to marry me."

...Uh.

........

Yeah, so take that and couple it with "I don't want you to move in" and you might see where my emotional complexities take over. I have a lot of emotional investment in this (duh) but I'm also 50% mental so its just a calorie-loaded recipe for disaster.

In the same note, I love him. It was so hard to say it and now that I finally have, it feels like the universe is playing some sort of elaborate practical joke on me. My karma caught up with me for something I did 20 years ago and in some grandiose scheme, I now have to sort out my wrong doings before I can move on with my life.

Its so easy to get caught up in how I feel that its equally easy to lose sight of where he's coming from... though, I don't really understand where he's coming from. I've tried talking to him about it and I keep coming back with more and more question marks than answers. I know he loves me (Christ I hope he loves me, fuck he's said it enough that he better...). But what can I do? Be patient? For how long? When is enough enough? What am I doing wrong?

They do say "If you keep doing what you're doing, you keep getting what you're getting." The only problem with that is if I change tactics here, I lose a huge part of who I am as a person... and its a good part too, like a REALLY good part. I don't want to change who I am, if he doesn't like me for who I am then what the hell is he doing with me? Plus he fell in love with the person I am so if I change that... its sort of counter intuitive to my goals.

Oh look, what a gaily packaged Catch 22!

My head is going to explode from the amount of over analyzing I do about this daily. Its a good thing I've been working out, maybe I can start running as fast as those hamsters on their wheels up in my brain.

What I know is that I love my boyfriend. A lot. What I don't know is what's going to happen...

The Power of the Lawn Chair

Hey, just in case you haven't heard: it snowed in Pittsburgh.

My boyfriend is originally from California. The amount of snow that fell, while certainly not the most he's ever seen, is still pretty impressive. He had to dig himself out of a 2ft high snow drift that appeared outside of his new house (pictured above) for the very first time this weekend. Pretty amazing.

Anyway, by the time he picked me up for last night's Superbowl Party at his parents' house, his street over on the North Side still hadn't been plowed. While he was driving me home after the game, it's like it just randomly hit him as we came through Pittsburgh: "If someone took my parking spot, I'm gonna hit the roof! I spent so much time digging myself out of that snow, I'll probably ram their car."

My immediate reaction? "Did you put a lawn chair in your spot?"

My California-Native boyfriend gave me a sort of sideways look, like he was putting two and two together, as he asked, "What do you mean did I put a lawn chair there?"

"Well... I guess its sort of a local cultural thing. I mean, its the power of the lawn chair. If you put a cone down, someone will come by and look around, think that there's no reason for a cone to be down since the street and curb look perfectly fine then move the cone and park their car. Its just how it works. But, if you put a lawn chair in your parking spot, no one will touch it because clearly... someone's saving the spot for someone."

He didn't say anything for just a moment. Then, "Wow... that makes total sense. I was wondering why the hell there were lawn chairs up and down my street today. I'm like, 'Were people just sitting out here staring at the snow, what the fuck is going on?'"