I don't usually like to blog about work. I've made the occasional exception like when I'm trying to raise money for Feed the Children or share the great news of getting promoted... but the day to day happenings, I try to keep that shit under wraps.
Tonight, I can't NOT share it. I swear to God: this is my life.
So, dear Reader, let me take you on a story:
So, I have a bit of a head cold and my voice completely reflects it. I'm standing with one of my associates at the front desk this afternoon when a woman walks in. Being the friendly, welcoming, customer service oriented person I am, I immediately greet her, albeit horsely, "Good afternoon ma'am. How are you today?"
She smiles as she crosses the lobby and says, "I'm very well. How are you this afternoon?"
"Oh... well, I'm hanging in there," I squeak with a meek little laugh.
She stops in her tracks and frowns at me, "Oh there's none of that."
Automatically assuming she's looking for something and not finding it, I want to address the situation and correct it. "I'm sorry??"
"Do you believe?" She asks.
I blink. "I'm... believe?"
She approaches me and leans over the desk, "Are you Christian, dear?"
I have absolutely no idea what to say. I've never had a perfect stranger ask me about my belief system so abruptly nor do I really want to involve myself in a potentially judgmental situation at work. Was I raised Christian, sure... I guess. Do I have an organized belief, uh... no actually. Do I want to tell a Fundamentalist Christian woman that and get a lecture in return? Yeah, no... no I don't. At all.
So I try to be as diplomatic as possible by saying, "I uh... yeah I guess so. For all intents and purposes."
The lady laughs at me. "For all intents and purposes? Well either you do or you don't." Her tone is very soothing and motherly, very Oracle from The Matrix-esque.
"Uh... well..." I'm very visibly uncomfortable at this point. I know my associate is standing next to me laughing behind his eyes.
"If you believe, dear, you know there's been plenty of 'Hanging' that's already taken place and so there's no 'Hanging in there' to be done."
I'm legitimately struck speechless. I have no idea what to say.
Looking back, I'm sure I had mumbled some kind of lame joke as she turned to walk away.
But I turn to my associate and say, "You know what the most ironic thing here is?"
Laughing at me and making a rocking motion with his arms, he says, "That you now feel cradled in the bosom of Christ?"
"No," I reply. "Earlier today I tweeted something along the lines of 'Oh great, now I'm sick. WTF else could go wrong this week?' and someone replied to me saying 'Jen, don't say that. That just opens up the universe to wreck you.' And he was right. Because now I'm apparently going to Hell."
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