Yes, its a Rice Cake.

I got hungry and in trying to watch my ever growing girlish figure, I opted to get creative.

The specimen we have here is a Chocolate Crunch Quaker Rice Cake with whipped cream mixed with Ghiradelli hot chocolate mix and slice strawberries on top. 

Believe it or not, its quite filling and less than 100 calories.

DRRRRROOOID

DRRRRRROID

Ohi

Been a few days, hasn't it? Get used to the slow season now that Pens hockey is over.

The Flyers are properly shitting the bed and I'm going to die laughing if Chicago actually takes this Cup in a sweep. What a shame, honestly. It's been a great season and this is how we fans get to enjoy the end: Thing 1 vs Thing 2 in the Who Gives a Fuck Finals.

I've lost some friends cheering for the Flyers. But then, I lost some friends when I said that Phantom Menace was better than a New Hope. I stand by Ron Hextall like I stand with Darth Maul: by hiding in a corner and hoping they don't hurt me.

Ron Hextall would kick Darth Maul's ass if Darth Maul was brave enough to enter his crease.

If you're possibly wondering why I keep talking about #27, its because he's the only Flyer I could ever say anything nice about... although, I'm starting to really enjoy watching Carcillo get pissed and mouth off at someone else's team.

I was calling Flyers in 6 just to be a smartass but I've since seen the light: they listen to Bon Jovi while suiting up not to get psyched but because that's all they're doing, Living on a Prayer.

Chi-town's taking this bitch to the local ice cream parlor and making a Root Beer Float out of it. Chicago in 5. Maybe 6 if Briere starts crying, I heard his tears cure cancer and score top shelf.

Apologies to my friend, Ryan, who's a huge Flyers fan. Your boys did me wrong and have shown me a new reason to hate them... though I am finding these finals immensely entertaining because of them.

In other news, it's a beautiful day here in downtown Pittsburgh. I'm officially the Foursquare mayor of my favorite Starbucks location on 6th and Penn which means that I get $1 off my However-You-Want-It Frap... I'll take a Grande Caramel Lite Frap with 5 pumps of Italian Roast, extra caramel sauce and whip.

I'm a fucking walking oxymoron. Judge me, please.

Now that I've started a new job, I'm starting to realize what a small world exists outside of my bubble. In the 30 minutes I've spent sitting here at Starbucks (looking like a total yuppie I might add with my Droid "Droiding" every 4 minutes while I blog and listen to music on last.fm) I've run into 2 people I used to work with. One was quite a pleasant experience since I haven't seen him in a few months, the other...

Well, you'd never know that I hate her.

It's great to gush over how AWESOME life is to someone when you know they hate theirs. Do I feel like a big person? No. Do I feel validated? Yes! She used to make my life a living hell. You bet I'm happy to tell her how great I'm doing.

I have no problem admitting my immaturity.

The boyfriend and I are all but living together.

If you think I didn't enjoy writing every inch of the last sentence, you're fucking stupid. I'm patiently awaiting a key to the house. It's like getting a key for the front door is the validation for the Tiffany's Key he gave me for Christmas, like a practical and tangible thing behind the symbolism.

Fuck, I love that guy so much.

Hey, I have a new blog follower: @techburgh on Twitter. Hi, Andy. Welcome to my wonderful world of writing. Follow him on Twitter, he's a good guy.

My phone keeps "Droiding" loudly on my table and drawing dirty looks from iPhone users in close proximity. Hey boys, don't hate on the cute girl with the laptop because her text notification is not only customizable but that it's default is so much cooler than yours that it's not even worth changing.

DRRRRROOOID

PS yes kid, I'm using the only working outlet in this place. Get fucked and enjoy summer school. Bwahahahahaha!!!

A Pens Fan's Reasoning: Why I'm Glad the Flyers Won

"I just hope the news covers the riots in Montreal." -My boyfriend at the end of the 2nd period.

Most of my fellow Pittsburgh Penguins fan friends have allied themselves with the Montreal Canadiens for the duration of this 3rd round series. I have opted to follow the road less traveled and have started... watching... the Philadelphia Flyers a little more closely.

I know, I can't believe it either. It comes down to this: Ron Hextall was a fucking badass and the Flyers haven't been good since the 70s.

Ok maybe it doesn't completely come down to that but here's my attempt to explain exactly where my allegiances lay.

Most importantly, this bears reiteration: I hate the Flyers!!!! But right now, I hate Marion Hossa and the Habs fans way more.

I haven't been following hockey quite that long, only just over a year, so I really have no idea what year the Hawks last made the finals. I know that they lost to the Pens in '92. I know that I called them to win it all this season. I know that with talent like Hossa, Kane and Toews it seems like a no brainer that the Hawks will take the Cup without breaking a sweat when facing players like Pronger, Hartnell and Richards.

But I also know that the last time the Flyers were good, I wasn't even born yet.

I know that I don't agree with how Toews pronounces his name and that the prospect of Hossa losing in the finals 3 years in a row with 3 different teams is too just too tasty for words. How could you not want to see that?

I know that the Flyers were shitty this year. I was pissed when Hartnell bit Letang. I laughed when Stevens got fired, management brought in Laviolette and they got even worse. I gasped for air when the rumors of Carcillo sleeping with Scotty Hartnell's wife bounced off the corners of the internet. I snickered when the Pens embarrassed them in a Home and Home. I ignored them because I didn't care.

But then April rolled around. The Flyers' season rode on their last game against the Rangers, which went into overtime and then to a shoot out. Somehow they won. I was baffled that somehow they won. I texted my Flyers fan friend, knowing he was happy. I shrugged it off and went about life secretly hoping the Flyers would win so the Pens could see them in a later round.

Marty rolled over (literally) in their opening series versus the Devils but the Bruins didn't make life easy on the Flyers. In the end, I chucked it up to luck that the Flyers had made it to the 3rd round. Sometimes fortune favors the foolish and Carcillo is usually pretty foolish.

The Pens lost and being a fan of the sport, I had to make quick work of figuring out a way to keep myself interested through the Cup Finals. I needed to find a team to cheer on to victory. Since the beginning of the season, the Hawks were my personal favorite so I needed to find an underdog: I tried bandwagoning the Sharks but they got swept faster than I could find a website to order a Nabokov shersey. I hated the Flyers but when sizing them up against the Habs' fans, Philadelphia was a close 2nd place.

I started considering what history has been made for the Flyers this season. I thought about Hossa's contract. I was overwhelmed by a feeling of schadenfreude that outweighed my disgust for anyone that wears orange and the answer seemed pretty simple.

Coupling that with the fact that should the Blackhawks actually win, Toews will kick Sidney Crosby out of the "Youngest Captain to ever hoist the Cup" spot. I know its trivial and I know its dumb but if the Pens can't win it this year, I don't want it to effect anything else other than them not winning it this year.

That last paragraph doesn't make much sense but you get my drift.

The Flyers play an older brand of hockey that you don't really see in many other teams. During the regular season, I'd call them thugs who between fights might figure out a way to score but during the playoffs their physicality is unmatched. You put the Broad Street Bullies up against finesse teams like the Bruins or the Canadiens and its obvious who the winner is going to be.

So yes, I can look myself in the mirror and say I am a Pens fan that wants to see her favorite team's arch rival do well. I am able to set my personal biases aside to enjoy my favorite sport before it closes up shop until October.

After all, the greatest thing about playoff hockey is that all the rules are redefined. You never know what's going to be around the corner. You never know what you're gonna get.

Pfft No Habs No

Granted this is a day late and more than a dollar short due to the fact that Game 2 between Les Habitants and The Broadstreet Bullies is going on right now but:

 

Laughing

My

Fucking

Ass

Off

At

Jaroslav

Halak

 

At the beginning of the game, I just wanted to see Carcillo bite off Cammalleri's head and bathe in his blood.  I wanted to see PK Subban get run over and mutilated by Scotty Hartnell.

 

Make no mistake about my loyalties, dear readers, I am a Pens fan through and through.  I hate the Flyers with every fiber of my being.  But, right now, I hate Habs fans so much more... so very much more.  The Flyers are doing everything the Pens didn't do in the last series just by being physical.  The Flyers are doing what they do best, they're bullying the Habs into submission. 

 

Oh and this just in: Game 2, the Habs get shut out AGAIN!  So it's obviously working.

 

Of course, I realize that should the Sharks lose and the Flyers win, I'll be facing the Stanley Cup Final Battle Royal of No One Gives a Shit.  Hossa can't win a cup so I'd have to cheer for the Flyers.  But the Flyers have no business even being in the playoffs (this year or ever) so I''d have to cheer for an original 6 team. 

 

Although...

 

It's kind of a Cinderella story.  The Flyers suck all year, end up winning the deciding game in a shoot out and then go all the way to the cup finals?  ...And win?  I don't know man, I'm a sucker for a good story. 

 

Whatever.  Go Ron Hextall!  I love you!

OLE OLE OLEEEEEEEEE

FEELIN HOT HOT HOT

...more to come sometime later today.

No Pens? Just My Computer

I'm at a loss.

 

Usually whenever I can't think of something to blog about, I blog about the Pens.  Well, the Pens don't really have much going on right now so I find myself completely out of topics.

 

I bought a guitar, that's pretty cool.  I don't know how to play it so that's much less cool.  But my friend, @OMGitsScottP says he'll give me a few lessons so that's really cool.  The Boyfriend showed me a few notes, I've got E and A all worked out.  Mastering something like chords and transitioning between the notes is going to take a little more skill but I stole the Boyfriend's copy of Guitar for Dummies so I'll totally be a pro in no time, right?

 

I have faith that, with this guitar thing, someday I'll be cool.. or really close to faking it.  Until then, I'm just a major nerd with no hope of ever getting laid.

 

Thank God for my Boyfriend.

 

Mercury hass come out of it's Taurus Retrograde and as of today, I'm feeling the effects of it's directness again.  I've gained some emotional clarity and peace over the past 24 hours.  I've recognized the obvious, we'll go from there.

 

The Boyfriend has allowed me to be a total "squatter" at his house for the past month.  It's been great.  I love having someone to come home to after work, someone to wake up to every morning, someone to cook for and cheer sporting events with.  This entire month seems like a dream, I hate the idea of having to wake up from it.  It's crazy to think that only a month and a half/2 months ago we were practically on the verge of breaking up.  I love him so much.  It just seems insane that I'd ever consider giving him up.

 

Of course it helps that he's opened himself up to me immensely since then too.

 

I don't know.  It seems pointless to live anywhere else but in the now.  Planning down the road just doesn't pan out for me.  I told the Boyfriend that he's responsible for planning a suprise for me this weekend since I had one for him last weekend on his birthday.

 

OMG I totally forgot to wish him a Happy 7th Day After His Birthday today.  Gah!  What a lousey girlfriend I am!

OMG its Pens Post Season

I got an anonymous text today:

"I didn't know if u heard but the penguins lost last nt Have a nice day."

When I asked, they told me it was the ghost of penguins past. Dude, I don't have anything against harrassing texts or emails when they're done properly but really? Calling me up and breathing heavy would have been more interesting than that.

I'm not by any means a fair weather fan. I went home after work last night and watched the replay on FSN just to live through each grueling and painful moment with my fellow fans and the objects of our collected fandom. I was sad and depressed and told my boyfriend that it was his fault (I couldn't be mad at anyone in particular so it made sense to be mad at the one person who gets off easiest in my life).

I was distraught. Not even a piece of cheesecake could console me properly. But I stole some of my boyfriend's birthday cake anyway and sat down with a beer. Yes, I mixed marble birthday cake with a Magic Hat No. 9. Judge me, I dare you.

Watching the replay was a twisting knife. It was sad because watching it I knew everything that each one of those players was capable of and I watched them come up short again and again, not because of Halak (and his wonderwoman string of games) but because their heart just wasn't in it.

The skill got the Pens to the playoffs again but their hearts just weren't in the game.

It's sad when you think about Lady Mellon's send off being so similar to her induction: a Pens loss to the Habs.

But in the wake of the Penguins ending their season last night, millions of individual memories that were created in that building are being overlooked. Memories that if you're a regular reader of The Pens Blog, you'll have read and enjoyed and maybe even talked about with other friends.

I think of the Mellon now and its still the Civic Arena to me. It's the huge white magical dome where I sat and saw the Ice Capades and Stars on Ice when I was a kid. It was where Mario and Jagr won their Cups back when I was 11 and 12 years old and just didn't care about hockey. It was where I saw David Copperfield live. Recently, it was where I spent my 2nd date with the Boyfriend to watch the Pens lose to the Carolina Hurricanes last season before beginning a Cinderella run of their own to the Cup finals. It was where I dragged him this season to see Stamkos and Vinny in March then listen to him tell me about how he got a write up for going to a game with his girlfriend when he had called into work.

There really is something magical about that building. It's old fashioned, just made of concrete and steel where the aisle numbers are often written in chalk to help patrons find their correct seats. Through all of its glory and even more through its age, its somehow began to sparkle. There's a gleam that isn't quite sunlight that reflects off of it's shiny white exterior. Magic isn't really the word because magic doesn't really exist.

Does it?

I'd call this post my tribute to Lady Mellon but tribute doesn't do the building justice. A tribute has a sort of sad goodbye connotation and frankly I'm just not ready to put on Sarah Mclaughlin's Angel and cry into my Iron City Light.

I hate that beer.

With my season as a fan coming to a close, I can only look towards next year. I've already started talking about getting tickets for away games. Maybe a Washington or New York or even a Philadelphia hotel will be getting a reservation with my name and credit card attached in the future.

In the meantime, I've forced Gary Roberts to give up his station on my twitter profile and started looking at Bucco game dates to see which ones I can make it to in the near future.

It's going to be a long, long summer.