Good Things Come in Small Packages, Even Stories.

I like how I go from having no hours at work to having like a billion and feeling like my life and soul is absolutely consumed by "Good afternoon, checking in?"

I honestly thought that after 8ish years in the hotel industry, 5 at Bellagio's front desk in Vegas and a few months in group sales that I'd heard everything. I didn't think it was quite possible for someone to come up with something so fresh and new that I wouldn't either be ready for it or have at least some sort of witty response to it right away. I actually even said it to a guest tonight, "Sir, there is nothing you can say at all that I haven't heard before!"

Then... it happened.

The heavens opened up and in a conversation that lasted about as long as Chumbawamba's career, this woman made a comment and then accused me of saying something that I didn't say... all in about a minute thirty worth of conversation!

I was going through my normal spiel "Good evening, blah blah blah. Checking in?" I confirmed the nights of her stay and she interrupted me before I could even get to her bed-type and demanded to have "2 double beds" in her room.

Now, my hotel is about 300 rooms large. We were sold out of 2 queen beds tonight and we don't offer doubles and here's this woman insisting that she was told that the request for "2 doubles" was put on her reservation by a man on 3/10. I offered a single queen bed and a rollaway. This woman then began insisting that I had just confirmed her request for 2 queen beds... in essence calling me a liar (to my face) and claiming that I said something that I clearly did not just say.

I was blind-sided. I had no idea what to say to her. In my almost 8 year tenure of working in a hotel, most of which has been spent behind the front desk dealing with people who don't understand how a hotel works but telling me how to do my job anyway, I had never been called a liar. Especially when I had very clearly not just said anything even remotely close to what I was being accused of saying not 10 seconds before.

There were several ways I could react to this. I took the most natural reaction I could think of, the first reaction that came to mind: I laughed.

Then I realized she was serious and I apologized.

Homegirl blew a gasket and then looked like she was about to cry. I felt bad for her but I didn't have anything else to accommodate her with, wtf am I supposed to do? All these guests take this shit personally. Like I, me... this girl behind the desk, am seriously out to get them and make their lives totally miserable and don't want them to enjoy themselves at my hotel while they're on property.

"Yes, ma'am, you're absolutely correct... I actually planned it this way. I knew that you and your husband and your daughters were coming in late tonight so I purposely sold all my queen beds to people who actually had the requests on file and got in early just to make your life difficult. If you turn on the water works for me, I might be able to pull a 2 queen room out of my pocket and give it to you but I want to go through this song and dance first because I like giving people a hard time. Ok? Now whats your excuse for being a total jerk?"

I actually said that to her.

No I didn't, I'm a liar. SEE I JUST PROVED HER RIGHT!!!!!

Why am I reliving this story? I think I enjoy being masochistic about stupid shit with work.

Here's a better story from work tonight: My hot-as-balls boyfriend came in tonight and told me that his mom and dad were there eating in the bar and had asked him if I was working tonight. He said, "Yes, she's the blonde behind the desk." Reportedly, his mom went back to him with, "Ooh she's cute!!!"

I haven't met his folks yet.

Hey! Why are good stories shorter than bad stories! What gives?

Moving right along: Hey! Larry King and Anderson Cooper both took Friday night off of their shows tonight. They are so both at the bar, getting drunk on green beer already.

Octomom is getting too much attention. America, please stop! Or at least tone is back a bit... I pay taxes too, I really don't give a shit about this woman, her kids or where they live or how they do it. I don't care.

Also, please leave Michael Phelps alone. The kid won 8 gold medals, ffs! He's obviously capable of some things that the rest of us are not. If the kid wants to hit a bong, let him.

Speaking of pot-smokers, CNN is slipping. They put Ron Paul vs Stephen Baldwin on the Marijuana legalization debate. Ron Paul is pro legalization, Stephen Baldwin is against... Ron Paul, the politician is for legalizing pot... the actor, Stephen Baldwin, is against it. Is this Bizzaro World??? When did it become opposite day?

How do you face off Stephen Baldwin and Ron Paul? What brainiac came up with this combination?? Did their original booking vs Ron Paul cancel at the last minute and they just called up Stephen Baldwin since he wasn't doing anything else anyway just to get someone to argue with Ron Paul? Stephen Baldwin looks high anyway, you've got to be fucking kidding me that this guy doesn't smoke up. Get fucked, Stephen Baldwin. Let the kids smoke a bowl, you baked-looking mother fucker!

For the record: if the Republicans had put Ron Paul on the ballot instead of McCain, they'd have had my vote.

Anyway, here's something controversial to chew on for a bit: I'm prefacing this with a disclaimer: I love gay men and I'm all for gay rights! I think they should be allowed to marry, serve in the military and all that good stuff.

But, all that being said I think one of the biggest problems facing the Equality of Gays in America is that the fight is primarily being fought by gay people. Thus most of the groups that are opposing them don't take them seriously. For me, its really hard to get passionate about something when I think its adorable when a gay man gets pissed. I'm pretty passionate about gay rights as it is but when one of my gay boyfriends gets worked up, I don't get empowered... I get the giggles.

My one friend was telling me about a court case he heard about in California earlier:

MyOneFriend (1:35:24 AM): that's why one of the interesting court cases

MyOneFriend (1:35:42 AM): i forget the whole details

MyOneFriend (1:36:03 AM): but it was a guy who sued the police for something because they were dicks about his bar or something

MyOneFriend (1:36:08 AM): and all the gay people there

MyOneFriend (1:36:11 AM): but he was straight

MyOneFriend (1:36:22 AM): so the first court case won for gay rights was by a straight man

MyOneFriend (1:36:29 AM): or at least in California

...I guess that's progress? I don't know how old that story is or the significance of it really in the long run. Since moving back home, I haven't really been able to keep up-to-date on Prop 8 but I do think that shit needs to get overturned and how!

Ron Paul said it best when Stephen Baldwin was questioning him head-to-head on whether or not he'd ever gotten high before. "Its all about freedom of choice." In my opinion, by denying gays the right to marry, the government is denying them the freedom to choose what to do with their life. Fuck that noise! Gay people should be allowed to do what they want just like everyone else. Quit being a bunch of assholes and let gay people be fabulous!