There's nothing dirty about that statement whatsoever.
This guest, Mr Doyle, came to my window today. Then he came back. Then he came back a 3rd time, each time with a different question and each time setting a hot cup of Starbucks on my counter as if tempting me like the devil himself.
Finally, I told him "Mr. Doyle, I'll be happy to keep answering your questions but if you come back to me one more time, I'm going to send you down to Starbucks for a Cinnemon Dulce Latte."
Imagine my surprise when he showed up again with one for me and asking another question.
Needless to say, this man made my day.
FUCK SO DID THE GUY THAT TIPPED ME $5 WHICH I TOTALLY JUST REALIZED I LEFT IN MY JACKET POCKET AT WORK!!!!!!!!!!!
God dammit! There goes my trip to Starbucks before work tomorrow.
If I could have an orgasm every time Twitter SMS'd me, I'd be the happiest girl on planet Earth. Unfortunately for me, Twitter is not my hot-as-balls boyfriend so I lose. I am, however, insanely happy that Twitter keeps me abreast of important issues like:
todayshowHere is @bittman's fried rice recipe from this morning. Recipe: http://tinyurl.com/d877jc
Anderson Cooper wrote a blog earlier regarding Americans Spring Breaking in Mexico and how unsafe it is. There's some irony in that. Because now I'm writing a blog about Anderson Cooper blogging about Americans Spring Breaking in Mexico and how unsafe it is.
Anyway here's a link: http://tinyurl.com/bvu4d9
Its interesting to me that Mexico is unsafe for Americans. Does that make America unsafe for Americans too? :)
Speaking of traveling... I work in the hotel industry. If you're an idiot, please don't travel. I've been saying this for almost 8 years now. Please, for the love of God, if you're a moron just stay home. If you absolutely have to leave your house for some reason or another, just accept that you're an idiot and let people help you. Don't try to anticipate the things that the desk agent checking you in is going to ask you. They don't want to know that you don't have the same credit card you booked with, they don't care that you want a quiet room, and they really don't want to know about your maiden name not matching the name on the reservation because you just got married in St Thomas to a guy that makes a bazillion dollars a year while you flash your huge fucking diamond in my face as you hand me a Black Amex who's account isn't in your name but your man was kind enough to add your name onto it as an authorized signer. Get fucked Mrs Soon-to-Be-Unhappily-Married. I know your game, bitch!
Now that I have the money to buy the tickets, I'm getting really frustrated with my quest to find presales for No Doubt this summer. Sales start on 3/7 and my one friend said she'd go with me but she's not willing to spring for the $80 seats that aren't on the lawn of Post Gazette Pavilion.
Dude, its No Doubt. I want to throw my panties at Gwen Stefani while she sings Hey Baby. ...And then ask for them back. I mean come on, they're MY panties. Where would I be without them?
I think I need a new job. My feet hurt ALL the time.
Also, I seem to complain alot.
What the fuck is Cameron Diaz wearing on Jimmy Fallon tonight?! There's some inherent quality about her that creeps the hell out of me. She seems perfectly nice but wow her close ups make her look worse than Michael Jackson. Ok, that might be a stretch but not so much that it'd snap in half. She looks pretty awful. Is Justin Timberlake still dating her? Ew. He's way too good for her no style ass.
Hey Jimmy's talking about his Twitter account. He Tweeted us fans earlier asking if we had questions for Cameron Diaz. Someone asked your stupid, typical question "if you weren't a movie star, what would you be doing?" I hate it when people ask that. The next question was more interesting, "If you found yourself alone in the woods with a bear... an angry bear... what would you do?"
Unfortunately, I didn't hear Cameron Diaz's answer because I just realized I have a hole in my shoe so fuck, I have to go shoe shopping soon and was too busy cursing the shoe gods for putting this on me right now.
Apparently though, the answer to my question of wtf is Cameron Diaz wearing is: She's a ninja... so clearly she's wearing a ninja outfit. HOW COULD I BE SO STUPID?!
Cameron Diaz redeems her terrible outfit with the line, "I got more moves than the Octomom's got kids, so take that beeeyotch!" during her dance off with Jimmy Fallon.
STREAM OF CONSCIOUSNESS TIME!!!
I need some Chamomile tea. I have like every type of tea in the world in my Tower of Tea here in my desk but strangely... chamomile is not among them. I feel like this is a challenge to my femininity.
I also feel that the word "femininity" is a lot like the word "banana" because it repeats 2 letters over and over.
I wish I had a banana right now. Not a banana split, just the banana. Of course, if I had the banana, I'd eat it and then I'd have to deal with the banana peel which, I think you'd agree with me, completely ruins the experience of eating a banana. There's something so disgusting about a banana peel. Even if the banana itself wasn't old, the banana peel is such horrible piece of garbage that no one ever wants to deal with. It just looks like a pile of gross when it lays in a garbage can.
Speaking of which, I need to empty mine.
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