Its Just Another Manic Monday

I'm convinced that I was targeted for some sort of biochemical warfare weaponry experiment.

Its positively ridiculous that the human body would do this to itself... if it was somehow self induced (i.e. if I was going through a heroin withdraw or detoxing off of cocaine or even hung over) I'd understand. But no, my body did this to itself because it got sick.

I'm sweating and achy. I'm exhausted but can't sleep. I have bursts of energy followed by a severe headache and confusion.

I'm dying!

I tried to get my hot-as-balls boyfriend to write my epitaph for me yesterday and he flat out declined so I made him promise to at least not let Mom do it. "Beloved Daughter" doesn't do it for me, I need something with pizazz! He did agree to write my eulogy though and then told me repeatedly that I wasn't going to die of the flu.

Which is why I'm convinced that its biochemical warfare and not just the flu now.

What happened to Matt Lauer's right arm? He's in a sling. Poor guy, he should be more careful when interviewing people like Octomom. Oh I guess a little Googling goes a long, long way (per my hot-as-balls boyfriend, the internet is strong with me anyway). Ask and thou shalt receive thy answer: Matt Lauer has Shoulder Surgery After Bike Spill.

Shame, the mental image of Matt Lauer getting attacked and pummelled by Octomom, 6 toddlers and 8 infants made me smile and I like Matt Lauer, I just hate that Today has become a total TV Tabloid. I just turned back to CNN when Meredith started talking about how 40 is the new 20... Baby Boomers making themselves feel better about getting old is dumb and they shouldn't subject us actual 20 somethings to it. We're 20, we're supposed to be idiotic and poor. At 40 if you're still idiotic and poor, you should count yourself lucky to still be alive.

Speaking of CNN, they've been playing clips of Inacio Lula da Silva talking shit about white people all morning. According to this, the Brazilian President, its white people's fault that the global economy has gone to shit. Listen, I played World of Warcraft with a bunch of Brazilians for like 4 years, as such I feel comfortable in saying that (in general) these people have no idea what they're talking about on any subject whatsoever. The fact that the BR president is telling us now that we're stealing his gold IRL is so epically funny that I can't even correctly process the situation in order to comment further. These idiots couldn't even get a 25 man together to kill Mag properly at level 70 but ooooooh its the white man with blue eyes' fault that their gear sucks and intend to fill President Obama in on that at the G20 Summit.

Fuck you, BR! Thats 20g for your enchant.

Also, God is Brazilian. GOOOOOOOOAL!

Oh here was a good Tweet I got from SenJohnMcNugget about 15 minutes ago:

SenJohnMcCainCalling for GM CEO to resign is unprecedented window dressing. GM needs restructuring as part of pre-negotiated bankruptcy package

Window dressing? Really?! I guess getting rid of a company's CEO isn't enough of a restructring process for our pal John McRunnerUp. If outting current decision makers in a company is just window dressing then what exactly would you have said company do to restructure, John? I guess you're right. I guess its a better idea to scrap making cars and start making pancakes instead.

I don't know why people say they hate Mondays. Mondays is when the real news starts happening again after the long weekend of trying to entertain ourselves for 48hrs.

Madonna wants to adopt a new baby. Why is this news? Who cares?! CNN stop being insane, PLEASE! People are protesting her, they used to do that here with her Sex book that she published back in the early 90s. Madonna getting protested isn't anything new! She just reinvents herself in order to keep getting people coming up with new sign ideas.

Speaking again of CNN, they just aired a clip of some drug dogs going through a tomato truck crossing the boarder from Mexico. Tomatoes were being thrown left and right, tipped over and thrown on the floor, stepped and drooled on by the dog... the salmonella scare from last year suddenly makes sense.

Edits and Updates to follow as I come up with more stupid stuff to complain about, I'm sure.

Edit (told you):
Back in August, my ExHusband shut off my cell phone without telling me prompting me to obviously have to go and get a new one. Since getting my new number, I've been getting barraged with phone calls from collections agencies, telemarketers and insanity for this guy: Travis Wallace.

Yeah, I sure did look him up on Facebook today. Then, I emailed him at the email address he has on file for contact information just asking if he had the number before I did and you KNOW he did, I mean how many Travis Wallaces are there in Pittsburgh ffs!? Unfortunately, he doesn't have a phone number listed otherwise I totally would just start giving it to the collections agencies bugging the hell out of me.

Guy looks like a total Yinzer.

Apparently he's in a band though, thats cool. Hopefully he'll get back to me. I mean, I really don't hold any anomosity towards this guy and wouldn't even pitch a fit about him starting to pay his bills and stuff (past letting him know that "Hey, I know you owe someone money so pay them plz and hi my name is Jen"). I just kind of want to get to know the guy I've been hearing about for almost 8 months now.

At least I have a face now.

The internet is definitely strong with me. :)

Another Update: That guy said it wasn't him. :( I don't know if I believe him. Crap!